Do Not Go Gentle
by Rosey1118
Summary: It was a rare magical disease, one that would attack every cell in her body until her body simply gave up. Magic would slow down the process, but only for so long. Odessa Perkins, with ten months to live, returns to Hogwarts after the demise of a friendship and the earth-shattering news of her illness. She intends for quiet year. But at Hogwarts, nothing stays quiet for very long.
1. Chapter One

She stared at herself in the mirror. Pale, sunken skin and dull eyes stared back at her. This, she was convinced, was not her face. It was not the person she'd come to be. "I'm not afraid," she whispered, so softly she could barely hear herself. It was a lie, she knew that. She was terrified beyond belief. But she couldn't show that, because then she'd fall apart and there wouldn't be anyone there to pick her up. " _I'm not afraid,_ "

Odessa Perkins nodded slightly and left the bathroom. She was going to be just fine as long as she kept her head down. She could have a peaceful year, and when the next year started, no one would notice her absence. Her only friend had abandoned her over the summer, to spend more of his time chasing after a girl that didn't love him. Odessa had never been a big fan of Lily Evans. She'd been the one to grow up next door to Severus, and they'd been inseparable for years. Odessa thought of him as a brother who she could run to when her father got drunk and chucked bottles around the house. He was someone she could go to when her mother told her that she would never accomplish her dreams. But then he'd met perfect little Lily Evans playing at the park. Severus had remained her friend, but they'd been distant for years. His explosion at the other girl convinced him he needed to spend every waking minute trying to get her to accept his apology. That left no time for Odessa.

When she found out she was sick, he'd been the first person she wanted to tell. She'd wanted to run to him and cry into his shoulder, like she'd done when her father disappeared for an entire week. She'd wanted him to tell her that everything would be okay. Her parents were either drunk or on drugs, so they wouldn't care that she was dying. Severus was supposed to be her person, but then he'd left to.

For the first few days, she'd been miserable. She'd laid on her bed and cried and tried to drown her sorrows like her father, with a not-so-healthy serving of Firewhiskey. That, of course, hadn't worked. She'd felt the pain as real as she'd felt it before, but she'd also wanted to throw up. Odessa had sworn off alcohol after that. Besides, according to the healers at St. Mungos, it could have terrible side effects on their desperate potions. There was no cure for what she had. How could there be a cure for something like that? The cells of her body were dying, one by one, and little by little. She was supposed to have just over ten months left until the damage was so severe it couldn't be helped anymore. She would die, and it would be painful, and she would be alone.

" _I'm not afraid,_ "

With a resigned sigh, she made herself walk back to her sparse compartment. She shared it with the other misfits, though they were all friends by now so really it was just her. She was the misfit; the friendless girl who was going to die alone in less than a year. She'd only be seventeen. Odessa read a book for the duration of the train ride. She needed to do something to keep her mind off things, and the others whispering together in her compartment weren't helping. In all fairness, she'd been there first so it should have been hers and it should have been quiet.

On the bright side, being a Ravenclaw meant that she could get away with having no friends. People would assume she was busy working on some amazing project, and they would leave her alone so she could continue researching. Ravenclaws, she knew, were often alone for that reason. Apparently being intelligent and creative meant they always needed to be doing something. Odessa could just as likely be caught chatting with friends, though not really anymore.

Dinner that night was lonely. Brand new first years came to sit by her, much to her displeasure, and Odessa's head started to pound by the time the meal was over. She had to report to Madam Pomfrey after, to get potions to slow the deterioration of her body, though the potion tasted like feet and Odessa wanted to spit it out. She couldn't, though, because she didn't want to die and she wanted to get as much time as possible. She needed more time.

Her sleep was wracked with dreams of a funeral no one would attend. Her father would be too drunk, and her mother wouldn't remember to come. Severus would be chasing after Lily Evans and she didn't have any other close relatives. Her grandparents had all died before she was born, and her aunts and uncles considered themselves too high and mighty to speak to her family. Odessa could understand why; her parents were embarrassments. But she loved them. They were her family and she could remember a time, when she was younger, when they were all sober and they would take her to the park or paint or have picnics. She remembered those parents, and those parents were the reason she couldn't tell them she was sick.

When she woke up the next morning, it was to the insistent tapping of someone on her bedpost. "Oddy? Oddy please, are you in there? Papa says I can't go to breakfast without you now that we're in the same house,"

Odessa groaned and contemplated throwing a pillow at the young girl standing by her bed. The girl lived in her building; Odessa had watched her countless times. Theresa, who was young and smart and healthy, had officially entered her first year at Hogwarts and, of course, been sorted into Ravenclaw. Odessa suspected the girl had asked the hat to put her there, because in Odessa's opinion, Theresa would make the perfect Hufflepuff. "I don't need to watch you at breakfast, Terry," Odessa complained. "The castle is safe,"

"But Papa said I can't go without you. He says you'll make sure I make the right friends and I don't get into trouble," Theresa said. Odessa could hear her lip quivering; was she honestly going to cry over this?

"Okay, okay, I'm getting up. Go wait for me in the common room; I'll be down soon,"

Footsteps scurried away from her bed and then the door closed. Odessa heaved herself out of bed, groaning again as she did. As per usual, her limbs ached with movement. More of her was dying off, yet she had to go to the Great Hall and escort a nervous eleven year-old to breakfast. It was going to be a long year.

She went to the bathroom to change, trying to ignore the bruising on her pale skin. She bruised easily now; a bump would have a dark spot forming in minutes. For a moment, she was envious of Theresa. Her skin was a rich brown; it surely wouldn't show the bruises. It wouldn't be sick and dying like her own.

Odessa exited the bathroom with her teeth and hair brushed, fresh robes, and a slightly less sour attitude. She wasn't exactly thrilled with her current situation, but she would live. For now, at least, she would be alive. Give it a few months and she might not be saying the same thing.

Theresa was waiting for her nervously on one of the sofas. Her robes were perfect and clean, and her blue tie was somehow knotted perfectly. Odessa hadn't figured out her tie for at least three years, and even now she wore the thing loose around her neck. "Okay, are you ready?" she asked, and Theresa perked up immediately and nodded.

"Papa says I can't be afraid. He says I'm too scared and that's why I wouldn't be a Gryffindor, like him," Theresa said innocently.

Odessa just sighed and shook her head. "Don't listen to him, Theresa," she said, putting an arm around the younger girl's shoulders and leading her out of the common room. "You're plenty brave. You're just too smart to go anywhere else,"

Theresa beamed at her, and Odessa couldn't help but smile back. Yes, she was somehow jealous of the eleven year-old and Theresa could be irritating, but she was Theresa. Odessa had known her for eleven years and was going to take some responsibility for the girl. "Oddy? Do you think people will like me? The other Ravenclaws?"

"I mean, talking to them could be a good start," Odessa said, leading her toward the great hall. Theresa had nearly turned into the Charms corridor. "Which means less me and more strangers,"

"But I don't like strangers. They're...Mean. They're not like you,"

"Yeah, well, strangers are how you make friends,"

"Can't I just be friends with your friends?" Theresa begged softly.

"I...I don't have any friends, Theresa. So no, I wouldn't recommend that,"

"But I'm your friend,"

"I don't have any other friends then," Odessa said. They entered the great hall, which was now full of laughter and groaning as people got their schedules for the year. "Theresa, you don't want to be like me. How about you go ask a Ravenclaw girl if you can sit with her? One of the other first years; was there anyone that looked nice?"

Theresa nodded nervously, so Odessa gave her a small push toward the Ravenclaw table. She watched as Theresa stood awkwardly next to one of the girls, but then Theresa grinned and sat down. She waved excitedly at Odessa, who just grinned and shook her head and headed to get her schedule from her head of house. Her first class was transfiguration, which worried her because Professor McGonagall was incredibly strict and Odessa wasn't sure she could handle a strict class. She was tired already and she didn't even have homework yet.

Odessa turned around and began to walk out of the great hall, head down and examining her schedule. It wasn't really that bad, she just wished she didn't have to deal with transfiguration. It was going to be too much for her. As she walked out of the door though, she ran into someone else and found herself on the ground. "For Merlin's sake, you're a sixth year. Watch where you're going,"

Odessa, who was staring up at four Gryffindor boys, felt herself flush and glare. Remus Lupin was staring at her in a way she didn't like. Peter Pettigrew looked ready to back up whatever the other two said. James Potter was the one convinced she couldn't walk properly around the castle and Sirius Black looked amused that she'd fallen down. "You should know by now to look for people who aren't paying attention. Fresh first years are here; they're going to be frantically looking at their schedules," Odessa retorted, managing to slowly get herself off the ground. Her backside hurt from the fall and she knew she'd be black and blue.

"Are you okay?"

Odessa glanced at Remus Lupin, upset that his group had made her fall. "I'm fine, not that it matters. Just watch out for first years,"

She squeezed herself through James and Sirius, though it wasn't much of a squeeze. She was too thin and too hurried to make herself seem bigger. She didn't have anything to do other than go to class, which is how she found herself sitting in Professor McGonagall's room a good half hour before class actually started.

For at least fifteen of those minutes, Odessa was convinced that the professor sitting in the front of the room didn't notice her. She was quietly sitting in her chair and reading, and though she shifted every now and then because of the ache in her back, she hardly made any noise. Then, however, the woman's voice filled the room. "Mrs. Perkins, may I ask why you're sitting in my room so early? You can't honestly be that excited for the start of school, can you?"

Odessa looked up, surprised to be addressed. "I...I didn't have anything better to do, Professor," she answered quietly. "Am I disturbing you? I can sit outside,"

"I just assume most students try to spend as much time with their friends as possible," Professor McGonagall said.

"I'm...I've had a...a falling out with my friend, Professor. I'd rather not talk about it,"

"And the illness doesn't have anything to do with this?"

Odessa's head snapped up and she looked at Professor McGonagall in shock. "How...How do you know about that?"

"Every professor knows," Professor McGonagall answered. "We needed to, in order to accurately care for you should anything happen during our class,"

"You mean in case I drop dead one of these days? Trust me, Professor, I would much rather do that in my own bed. If I feel like I'm going to die I'll have the courtesy not to do it in your class,"

"Miss Perkins, that's not what I meant,"

"Excuse my tone, Professor. But I would very much like to get back to my book,"

Professor McGonagall waved her hand to okay it, and Odessa went back to reading. She hated the fact that her professors knew what was happening to her, because that meant they would look at her differently.

Other students began pouring into the classroom after ten more minutes. Odessa pushed her brown hair out of her eyes and forced herself to sit up straight in her chair. She was not going to look weak; she was going to be the best in the entire class and nothing could convince her otherwise.

Of course the only thing they did that day was take notes over an upcoming lesson. Odessa eventually slumped back in her seat and begrudgingly took note like the rest of her classmates. She could hear the four Gryffindor boys laughing quietly at the pauses, which was irritating, but she was used to it enough by now that it didn't present a huge problem for her. The boys had been laughing through classes for years at that point, so of course there wouldn't be any difference now.

As she got up to leave class, someone put their hand on her shoulder. "Perkins,"

Her skin went cold as Severus Snape said her name. "Get off me," she said quietly. " _Now_ ,"

"I'm making progress with Lily," he said.

"Oh, that's great. You left me alone to chase after her. Remind me why I care about your progress with her?"

"You should be happy for me," he pouted.

"Happy for you? Right, remind me to take the time to be happy for you. I have a million things to deal with, but let me be happy for the friend that abandoned me!" Odessa said, shoving his arm away from her. She didn't want to deal with Severus Snape, at least not now.

Before he could respond, Odessa made sure to walk purposefully away from him. She went to Care of Magical Creatures then, which meant she would get to escape Severus Snape for a while longer. She missed him, of course, but there was no way she was going to be friends with him again. He was, in her humble opinion, a complete and total ass.

When lunch came along she realized that she hadn't eaten breakfast, and went to the great hall in order to actually eat a meal. To her surprise, Theresa took a seat next to her and started to talk about her day. She'd had an amazing one, apparently, and that made Odessa smile. She was happy that Theresa was happy, and maybe even a bit jealous as well. She wished she could be happy as well, but she was making a things okay again, slowly. She was being nice to Theresa. That had to be a start.

And that evening, at dinner, Odessa was shocked to find other people sitting down around her. One of the kinder girls in her year, Leila Brown, sat herself down on Odessa's left. "I heard you and Snape arguing as I left class this morning," Leila explained. Odessa just stared at her. The two girls had been friendly toward each other, but they weren't really friends. Leila was sweet and got along with the entire castle. She had friends everywhere and Odessa wasn't one of them. "I had a bit of a falling out with my best friend over the summer, too,"

"Oh, I'm...I'm sorry," Odessa said awkwardly, not quite sure what else she could say.

"Don't worry about it. It was her fault, not mine. I suppose when you put guys over your friends, drifting tends to happen. Mary Nelson, well, she's quite in love with Evan Rosier. Anyway, I figure both of us are starting this year out alone. And seeing as we share a dormitory and quite a few classes, we should be around for each other. I've always liked you, Odessa. You were just...so caught up with your other friends that I didn't think it mattered if you had me or not,"

"My friend was always caught up with Lily Evans. I didn't see things the way you did; I thought...Merlin, I thought he at least valued me," Odessa admitted quietly. She hated doing it, but Leila Brown could get any secret out of you. She was just that kind. And she didn't use the secrets for anything bad; she just tried to help things get better or she kept them covered up.

After dinner she returned to the hospital wing, but she was in better spirits than she had been before. Leila Brown wanted to make sure she wasn't alone, so Odessa wouldn't have to spend her last year on earth sulking and lonely. And Severus hadn't bothered to come up to her again, which was a relief. She didn't have the energy to argue with him again. They'd lived near each other and been friends for years, but if she was easy to drop then she would be sure he was too.

When she fell asleep she didn't think about being sick. Instead, she drifted off with the content feeling that this year, things could actually be okay. She would get a good last year. She could die peacefully in her bed with a friend by her side, and maybe even Theresa too. Things would be okay.

At least, that was her assumption.


	2. Chapter Two

"Okay," Odessa told herself softly. "Okay. You're going to get out of bed now, and things will be alright. It won't even hurt,"

She knew she was lying to herself. It would hurt like hell to stand up, because everything hurt in the mornings. But she would stand and then Leila would be sitting in bed with a muffin and tea, and things would be better. She would get up, have breakfast, and then shower. Warm water made her muscles relax, and she would forget that she was dying.

Leila didn't know exactly what was wrong, but she knew something. Odessa was confident of that fact; Leila was too smart to not realize something was off. She pestered Odessa about it for a while, though Odessa wanted the secret to stay hers for as long as possible. Even though she was confident Leila wouldn't tell anyone, Odessa didn't want to take any chances. She couldn't handle people staring at her with pity, or being too afraid to even touch her. Sure she bruised if someone bumped her too hard or grabbed her too tightly, but that didn't mean she wanted to be completely alone. That may have been her resolution at the start of the year. But in a week, Leila had changed her opinion.

Life was better with a friend. She didn't spend every second of every day thinking about how slowly she was dying, or how she would never get to grow old and marry and have kids. Instead, she chatted in the library. She and Leila sat outside, in the sunshine, and talked about complex theories for Ancient Runes. Theresa came and sat with them and told them all about her new friends. This, Odessa had decided, was a life worth living. She didn't dread the next ten months, she was thrilled to have them.

And she was dancing again. Odessa had done ballet up until she'd gone to Hogwarts, and even then she'd still practiced steps in empty classrooms. When she was a child, she'd wanted to be a ballerina. It seemed silly now, of course, because the world of magic had been opened to her and she wouldn't want to be without it. But that didn't mean she had forgotten her love of the elegant steps she'd been learning for twelve years. Dancing, while a bit painful if she moved wrong, was really relaxing. It reminded her of a time from before her diagnosis, when she would spend every waking moment of her summers in a studio and every chance in an empty classroom at school. And remembering those times made her smile, which she guessed she needed too.

She wasn't dancing at the moment though. At the moment she was trying to get herself out of bed so she could go to class. With a sigh, Odessa moved to sit up. But instead of moving, she let out a sharp cry of pain and laid still on her bed. She couldn't move, and trying was one of the most painful things she'd done recently. "Odessa?" she heard Leila ask. "Odessa is everything okay? Did you wake up from a nightmare?"

Odessa took a deep breath, too ashamed to answer. She couldn't move. Was she going to be paralyzed now? Was the disease attacking her nervous system? With her luck, it would be doing just that. "Leila?" Odessa managed to say, her face slowly turning red. "I need you to go and get Madam Pomfrey,"

Her curtains were parted immediately and she saw her concerned friend with tea in hand. "Odessa, what's wrong? Why do you need her?"

"I...I can't explain it. Please don't make me. But...But I need her help. Please, Leila, please,"

Her friend nodded once and set the tea down, and then was gone. Odessa took deep, calming breaths. She felt completely ridiculous. She couldn't even manage to get out of bed in the morning. How was she supposed to go through an entire year of school if she was bedridden? And why, she wondered, was paralysis coming so soon?

Within a few minutes, Leila was back with the healer. They both looked a tad out of breath, and both looked concerned. "Ms. Brown, thank you for your help but I'll have to ask you to leave the room. Your other roommates are all up and gone?"

Leila nodded though she looked irritated. "I think I should stay. Something's wrong and I want to be able to help,"

"Leila just...just go," Odessa said pleadingly. "Please,"

They locked eyes for a few moments and then Leila left with a huff. "You'll want to explain to her," Madam Pomfrey said softly. "I can't imagine going through this alone,"

"Please just...just help me move again," Odessa said, ignoring her other words. She wasn't going through this alone; she had Leila and Theresa. They didn't know what was wrong with her, but Odessa couldn't understand why they would need to. She would tell them near the end, when they wouldn't spend months worrying about her health.

Madam Pomfrey sighed, obviously upset with her decision, but Odessa couldn't allow herself to care. A few spells later and she could feel things popping under skin, like her nerves were waking up and making her limbs move again. "Why is this happening so early?" Odessa asked softly, scared and feeling quite alone. "I...I thought I had more time before the serious things happened. There was supposed to be more time,"

"Not every disease acts the same. I cannot explain why this would be so hard on you in particular, but there have been cases that progressed faster than others. I'm sorry, Miss Perkins,"

Odessa just nodded and sat up in bed, relieved that she could move again. "How long until that happens again?" she asked softly.

The healer just shook her head. "I don't know what to tell you," she said softly. "I'll brew some potions that should stabilize your nerve system and we'll add an extra potion that will slow the destruction even more. I'm sorry, but that's the best I can do,"

Odessa nodded and thanked Madam Pomfrey. She left the room soon after and Odessa tested out her limbs by walking around the room. They all seemed to be functioning normally again, so with a sigh of relief she got changed for the day and left the dormitory. That, however, didn't leave her with much relief at all. Instead she came face to face with Leila, who looked incredibly concerned. "I want to know what's going on with you and I want to know now,"

"I felt a little stiff," Odessa said, sending her friend a small smile that didn't at all reach her eyes. "I just needed a little help. Maybe I overreacted a bit, but hey, I can move now,"

"Don't lie to me,"

"Don't make me tell you,"

"Why not?" Leila asked. "We're friends now, and friends tell each other things,"

"But we're exceptionally new friends, and my parents don't even know, and...and if I tell anyone there's a chance that the whole of Hogwarts is going to know and I don't want them to look at me like I-"

She stopped, because her train of thought was definitely going to give something away and she couldn't allow that to happen. "Like you what?" Leila asked softly.

"Don't make me tell you," Odessa repeated, "Please. You'll find out soon enough at this rate, and I don't want to upset you right now. Can we just go to breakfast and forget about this even happening? And if anything happens again, I...I'll tell you then. I swear,"

Leila nodded suspiciously and linked her arm with Odessa's so they could go to breakfast tomorrow. "I'm still going to ask you every day until something happens,"

Odessa managed another small smile. "I wouldn't expect you to do anything else,"

Breakfast was a relatively quiet affair, though the Gryffindor table was particularly loud what with the laughter of the four boys in their year. They were always loud though, so for the most part Odessa tuned them out. Leila talked her through her classes for the day and all the homework she hoped she wouldn't have. Odessa just nodded and laughed. She looked down the table every now and then to see how Theresa was doing with the other first years. Theresa got along with them fine, but she still spent a great deal of time with Odessa and Leila.

They parted ways after breakfast, when Leila headed to Herbology and Odessa walked to Ancient Runes. She sat quietly at her seat for the first part of the lesson, her quill still above her parchment instead of taking notes like she was supposed to be doing. She'd written a few words but that had been like torture on her hand, so she hadn't written any more. The professor was glaring at her every few minutes, but Odessa didn't care. She was in too much pain to write. The professor could be mad at her; Odessa would be dead within a year so it really wouldn't matter then.

Of course, though, that was the day they got partnered up to do an activity. Odessa rested her head tiredly on her desk and listened to the professor pair people off. She didn't have the strength to move right now, and she wasn't going to. She would take a detention if that was what the professor wanted, but she would be damned if she was going to leave her spot. "Mr. Lupin, go sit with Perkins please,"

She heard an audible groan and a weak protest, which made her feel just peachy, and then someone sat down next to her. "Have you not even taken notes?" he asked. The soft spoken boy seemed to detest her; she could hear it in his voice. He didn't want anything to do with her.

"Oh definitely," Odessa said. "I just decided to clear them from the parchment. Don't want to waste it, you see,"

She glanced at him to see a sour expression on his face. "Well it's not that hard," he said. "So we can breeze through it and get away from each other,"

Odessa stared at him, finally lifting her head off the desk. "If there's something wrong, you can move away and we can work on our own. I wasn't aware you hated me, but apparently everyone's going to turn on me this year so why not a Gryffindor I barely know,"

His face softened immediately. "I don't hate you," he said. "I try not to hate people. It's...It's just...You stink,"

Odessa's face went red. "I-I showered last night and I'm wearing perfume-do you not like roses?"

"No, it's...it's not that," he admitted softly. "You...You're sick. You smell like...like death,"

She stared at him. After a moment, she asked, "How the hell do you know about that? How could you possibly-"

"I'm...My mother's sick too. I'm always in the hospital wing so I can see if there are solutions for her. I know that scent,"

Odessa got the feeling there was something more he wasn't saying, but she didn't intend to ask. She wasn't going to stay there either, and instead stood and grabbed her books. "Miss Perkins, what on earth-" the professor began to say, but Odessa just mouthed 'hospital wing' and the professor let her go without another word.

She didn't, of course, go to the hospital wing. While her body was aching, it wasn't bad enough to warrant the use of medicine and she didn't want to see Madam Pomfrey again so she could get lectured about not telling anyone about her illness. So she found an empty classroom and went inside, sitting in the middle of the floor and stretching. It reminded her that her body was, currently, in tact and that she could move as she used to. Odessa slid off her robes and, left just in her sweater and skirt, reached up and stretched too. This was what she needed; she needed time to relax. If she hadn't come back to school, she would have been able to relax every day.

After a bit of hesitation, she summoned a radio to the room and turned on a station with slow songs. She hadn't danced since she'd been diagnosed, and she wasn't sure she would remember how. She'd done ballet from the age of three to eleven, and had gone back for remedial lessons in the summers between school years. She wasn't very good, but it calmed her. And after being told that she smelled like death, Odessa needed to calm down.

She moved slowly throughout the room, every now and then doing a pirouette and then returning to stepping gracefully when the pirouette made her dizzy. She lost track of how much time she spent in the room, because she knew she didn't need to go anywhere. Her next class was Charms, and the professor hadn't looked at her since the start of the school year. He probably wouldn't even notice that she was gone.

She danced until everything started to hurt, and then collapsed on to the floor of the room. She stretched herself out again, hoping that would help her body ease its pain, but it didn't. Instead she was left with the pounding ache spreading through her. On the bright side, though, she'd actually spent an afternoon doing something she loved rather than with her head down in class as she refused to acknowledge her professors and fellow classmates.

Odessa stayed there for the rest of the day. She couldn't bear to go to class after such a peaceful thing. She couldn't bear to see Leila stare at her suspiciously, because she knew something was wrong. She couldn't even bear to see Theresa laughing happily because it would remind her about how little time she had left.

She was miserable. She wanted to just stop now and die in her empty classroom. No more pain, no more dysfunctional limbs. No more dysfunctional family and friends that didn't truly care about her. It could all just stop now, and no one would be any the wiser.

In that moment, she made a decision. She wasn't going to die weak and laying in bed for months. No; she was going to die on her own terms. And to do that, she was going to need help.

So she got off the floor and pulled her robes back on, fully aware that she was about to make a fool of herself in front of her previous best friend. She was going to grovel and get on her knees if she had to, if it meant she would die with a little dignity.

Odessa found Severus Snape sitting in the library on his own. He was writing something in a book of potions, which didn't surprise her. He was top of the class in that subject, and he loved it almost as much as he loved Defense Against the Dark Arts.

She sat down across from him and he looked up at her, confused and irritated. "I don't have time for your drama today, Perkins, so-"

"I need you to kill me,"

He stopped mid-sentence, his mouth hanging open and confusion stealing his face. She used to love confusing him like that, but this was too serious to take too much enjoyment. "What the hell did you drink that would make you think I would-"

"Not now; don't be thick. I'm managing now. I just...Not that you care much, but I'm sick. And I want to go my own way. Now I know you've got a spell that would slice me open; that would do the trick. Or perhaps a poison; you're amazing at potions so it shouldn't be too hard for you to brew one. So. Have we got a deal?"

He just kept staring at her, and Odessa wondered how much of a good idea this really was. "If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go tell the headmaster that you've gone _bonkers_ and turned _suicidal_ ," he said, slamming his book closed and standing up from the table. "Is this some ploy for my attention? Because if it is, Odessa, I swear I will-"

"No ploy, and sit down; it's not as if you really care anyway. Besides, I don't have much to live for. You know my family. And Leila and Theresa are my only friends and they'll do just fine. I don't care if it counts as suicide. I just...I don't want to lay in a bed dying for months. I want to go while I still can. So. Have it ready by the end of the month, whatever your choice is? If it's the spell I'll tell you when I'm ready. If it's the potion, you can just give it to me and I'll take it when I want to go,"

"I would get expelled," Severus argued.

"No one would have to know it was you," Odessa said, frowning. She didn't want to start pleading with him, and she was going to be furious if he made her plead. "Severus, please. I know we aren't friends, but you're the only person that would consider doing this for me. I want to die on my own terms. I want...I don't know; I don't want to turn into that pathetic person everyone pities. I won't have that be me. Don't let that be me. You don't care now, but you did at some point in time, so just...help me?"

"What exactly is wrong with you?" he asked, frowning deeply at her. "You're over-dramatic a lot and this could be over a common cold," Odessa frowned back at him and wrote the name of the disease on a piece of his parchment. She still refused to say it; that would make things completely real and she wasn't ready for that yet. She pushed the parchment to him and watched as his face softened to the one she'd grown up with, and cared so much for. "Not...How can this be true? This is...it hardly happens to anyone. How can...It can't be true. Your healer must be wrong,"

"No, she's not," Odessa told him. "She's one of the most competent healers around; she knew what it was before I could really tell her everything that felt wrong. This...This is what it is. These are the cards I've been dealt. I just want a little more control over them,"

He stared at her for a few moments, unsure of what to do, before he said, "I'll make a poison. If it gets desperate, I can use the spell but I'd rather not see you bleeding out in front of me. It would be disgusting,"

"Thank you," she said softly. "You are a good person, you know,"

He rolled his eyes and then added, "I'll make a pain potion too. Stronger than whatever they can give you in the hospital wing. I've been working on one for months,"

His offer surprised her, but it made her smile too. A stronger potion could mean a stop to the daily ache in her limbs. "I may have to take you up on that. Thank you,"

With that, she left him in the library. All in all, she thought it had been a productive day. She'd learned to stay far away from Remus Lupin, to avoid being sick in front of Leila, and that she would get to die her own way. It felt wrong, for some reason, but it wasn't like anyone would care. Little did she know, though, that a boy with shaggy black hair had been listening to her plea.


	3. Chapter Three

It was a good day, Odessa had decided. She didn't hurt too badly, because she'd taken a little extra pain potion that morning. The aches and pains she'd become accustomed to were not weighing too heavily on her mind; she could hardly feel them, if she was honest. That meant she could actually try and be herself again. She loved the days when she didn't have to pay attention to what was happening to her.

It was a relief for Leila, or at least that's what Odessa assumed. Her new friend had seemed better that morning; happier, she would say, when Leila had walked into the bathroom, talking about a delightful dream she'd had the night before. Leila had often asked her about what was going on since the morning Odessa had woken up unable to move, but Odessa had refused to tell her. She didn't want to spoil Leila's year yet, because that would make her feel terrible. If she could just keep it a secret a little longer, she wouldn't cause a problem.

They were in the library now. It was a Saturday morning and they'd both decided that it was a good idea to get their homework done first and then find something fun to do with their day. They were laughing quietly with each other as they tried to figure out a solution to an arithmancy question. It was a little hard to focus when they'd been discussing breakfast that morning. It had been rather hilarious. Two of the younger Hufflepuffs had gotten frightened by a spider and had wildly waved their wand at it. The spider had swelled and run, terrified, through the great hall until someone had taken pity on the poor being and shrunk it back to size.

Odessa, who had never been particularly scared of spiders, had found the entire thing hilarious. The great hall had erupted into screams of terror and laughter, with Odessa and Leila doing the latter. They still couldn't get over the looks on people's faces as it had happened. Most of the younger students had gone running and screaming toward the teacher's table. "You know," Leila said, pulling Odessa out of the memory and back into the present. "I say we make that happen again, maybe before Christmas? I just loved seeing everyone look like that. It was bloody amusing to see all of their faces,"

Odessa just grinned and nodded. "I know. I can't believe it went so badly. Even the professors were just standing there stunned. It would be a good way to leave the castle,"

"Rather, we should just convince those Gryffindor boys to do it. I bet they'd be willing, and then we're in the clear in case someone gets caught and in trouble,"

Odessa grimaced. "I really have no desire to go near them. Lupin looks at me like I'm terrible every time he sees me, and Black keeps staring at me. It weirds me out. I don't want to go near him and have him think something bad,"

Leila shook her head and rolls her eyes. "You never know; Lupin and Black could be fighting over you and desperately in love with you and-"

Odessa let out a loud, barking laugh that she hadn't heard from herself in a while. "Oh please. Don't kid yourself. I've no idea why they're watching me but I know for a fact they're not in love with me,"

"What makes you say that? You're lovable," Leila protested.

"I'm not exactly the type of girl they're going to fall in love with. I mean, they...As irritating as they are, they're remarkably attractive. I'm just me. I could maybe get Pettigrew, but even he has a boyish charm about him,"

"Boyish charm, eh?" a voice asked. Odessa jumped and whirled around, ignoring the slight ache it caused her. She found herself looking at Sirius Black, who had his cheeky grin spread across his face. "I couldn't help but overhear. I just have a sixth sense for when people call me remarkably attractive, I suppose,"

Odessa found her skin going red. The color was probably good for her, she was often pale nowadays, but it was incredibly embarrassing at the same time. After all, there was a Gryffindor boy standing above her and smirking at her while also seeming the slightest bit irritated. "That-That wasn't meant for people to be listening or anything. I'm...I don't-I mean you gross me out ninety percent of the time. Just because you...have good bone structure or...Oh be a dear and just go away?"

"Nah, I can't be a dear. I came over to ask if I could have a word with you, actually,"

"With...Not with me," Odessa said, folding her arms across her chest. "I don't have any desire to have a word with you,"

"Ah, but you're going to," he said. "Or I can tell everyone how handsome you think my friends and I are. Is that what you want?"

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"Definitely. Let's go though. She'll be back in a minute-You're cute, by the way," he said to Leila, who wrinkled up her nose in disgust. "I'll take that as a no. Shame; would have been fun. Anyway, corridor please?"

Odessa stared at him hard, but he did the same to her and after a minute she found herself sighing heavily and placing her quill on the table. "You have two minutes of my time, Black, and then I have things to get back to,"

"Lovely. Let's go,"

Sirius tried to lead her into the corridor outside the library, but Odessa was upset that he'd disturbed her day and made sure she ended up walking in front of him. The extra potion she'd taken, she assumed, was what allowed her to walk so quickly. If she'd done that without pain potion, she knew she'd end up achy. After a moment, they stop a little ways away from the main door. "Okay. What is it you want?"

His face, while irritated earlier, had turned from mild humor to near hatred. "I heard you talking to Snape," he said quickly, his face angry. "I could report him,"

Odessa's face lost all of its color as he spoke. "You...What is it with you boys?" Odessa asked fiercely, shoving the Gryffindor boy away from her. "First Lupin and now you? Stay the hell out of my life; do you understand me? What I do is none of your business. God did he tell you? Lupin? He told you right? It's...It's not my damn fault that I'm dying and I have every right to go out the way I want to. Oh, what are you going to do? Force me to lay in a bed for months? Forget it, Black. You don't know me, you don't know what this is like, and you definitely don't care enough to really do anything about it. You just want to get Severus in trouble. Find some other way to do it and just leave me be!"

Odessa turned on her heel to storm away from him, unhappy and terrified that he was going to take the one solace she'd managed to find herself. "You're not even going to try, are you," he called after her. Odessa froze. "I'm sick of this nonsense. Whoever told you that you were allowed to just quit?"

"Quit? I'm not quitting!" Odessa snapped, storming back to him. She had half a mind to slap him, but she couldn't bring herself to do that just yet. "You deal with what I do every day and then tell me you wouldn't want a way out. I haven't just let myself go. I haven't stopped coming to school. You know they offered that, right? They offered to let me spend my last year at home instead of here? But I didn't quit. I'm not quitting,"

"It sure seems like you are," he said, arms folded across his chest as he stared at Odessa. "You're going to try and off yourself because you're tired and lazy. If you had any idea what people actually suffering are going through. You just assume that whatever sickness you've got is so much worse than everyone else's sickness. But it's not. Some people have suffered for years without complaint, or doing what you're about to do,"

Odessa raised an eyebrow as he spoke to her. "Right. And this person, they've only got a year left to live, right? No. Because you just said that they'd been fighting for years. I get it. It's admirable to fight. Fine. But apparently whatever illness they have isn't so severe. So get off your bloody high horse, Black, and leave me alone. Let me do whatever I want to,"

She really did leave him this time, furious that he would suggest he knew her well enough to say what she was doing. Even more upset that he was judging her for everything she was doing. She knew that she would be judged no matter what solution to her illness she took, but it broke her heart to know that people thought she was weak and lazy because she wanted a way out. If they could only feel what she did every day; if they could just experience the aches and the terror when they woke up unable to move...Was she a coward then? What if Sirius Black was right, and she was just giving up?

She stopped with her hand on the door to the library. She couldn't go back in there; not now, not when she was certain she knew the truth. She slowly drew her hand back, watching as it trembled, and then watching the door. Leila was in there. Leila was her friend and would tell her the truth. But Leila didn't even know the truth. She didn't know because Odessa didn't trust her enough to tell her. She didn't really trust anyone enough, except for Severus and that was only because he had yet to tell on her.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Sirius Black called from a ways down the corridor. "You look like a bloody idiot,"

Odessa glanced at him, her vision blurring slightly as her eyes filled with tears. And a split second later, she turned and ran, as fast as possible, out of the corridor. Her chest ached with breath she took, but she couldn't bring herself to stop. She needed to be free, just for a minute. She needed time to forget; forget what was wrong with her and what Sirius had said.

By the time she slowed down, she was near the entrance hall. She paused, able to hear people laughing, and able to see smiling faces. She longed for the days when she was like them. She wished she could go back in time; to truly appreciate all of the time she'd spent happy and unafraid. Odessa had taken the years for granted. She'd let herself forget how lucky she was to have the life she did. It wasn't perfect; her father was a still a drunk and her mother was still overly emotional, but the times were better than this. She didn't hurt then. She danced then, without having to pause for breaks in order to take a breath.

She backed slowly away from the entrance hall and shoved herself into one of the nooks in the wall. She just wanted to listen for a while, to the happiness as students milled about on a Saturday morning. She wanted to hear laughs and shouts of glee; sounds she was convinced she would never make again. Odessa just wanted to be happy again. She wanted a life without worrying about her health.

Odessa lost track of how long she stayed in the alcove, listening to the happy people pass by. She sat there, her eyes closed as she leaned against the wall to listen. But the more she listened, the less happy she was. She knew she couldn't have that anymore, so why bother? Why bother worrying? She didn't have the ability to change anything. She was dying. She was going to die by the end of the school year. She needed to accept it and move on. Maybe, she thought, Sirius Black was right. Maybe she had been quitting. She'd just convinced herself that she had been fighting when she'd really been lying down and letting life kick her.

But that didn't mean she could do anything to make it better. She couldn't do anything.

Odessa stumbled out of the nook at that thought, suddenly feeling queasy. "Too much potion," she mumbled, shaking her head slightly to clear the dizziness. She got out of the main hallway and into a side corridor where there weren't many people. Another wave of dizziness hit her and she leaned against the wall, trying to take a deep breath and keep her balance. She really did not feel good, and she hated that. Not feeling good was half of her life now and she just wanted it to be over.

She shook her head one last time, the dizziness clearing slightly. Odessa smiled, somewhat proud of herself. She'd gotten better all on her own; she could still take care of herself.

Odessa leaned away from the wall, convinced that the spell was over. Dizziness came with being sick, so she would really need to get used to them. She made it to another corridor, quite pleased with her accomplishments, before she suddenly collapsed into a heap on the floor. Her head hit the stones and Odessa quickly realized she could no longer move very well or get herself off the floor. The fall had surprised her; she'd felt alright for a few moments, and then the dizziness had overtaken her again and hadn't gone away with a simple shake of the head.

The corridor she was lying in was not frequently traveled in, which came as a bit of a relief to Odessa. At least she could live this humiliation without people noticing what was happening to her. If anyone found out what was happening-well, anyone besides Sirius Black and Remus Lupin-Odessa would leave. She was still considering leaving, to be honest, just to get away from the disaster that returning to Hogwarts had brought her.

Currently, though, she thought she should focus more on the intense pounding in her head. It was hurting her far more than it should be, and she didn't want to think about why. She wasn't surprised that something bad had happened to her; at this point bad things felt almost necessary to her day. What would a day even be without an unfortunate turn of events? It would be a day in someone else's life, because apparently Odessa didn't deserve a break every now and then.

The ache in her head began to get worse, and her vision blurred. Was this, she wondered, how she was going to die? At least it was peaceful. At least she didn't have to deal with someone coming through and ruining her much awaited death. "I'm alone," she mumbled. She let out a small, pitiful laugh and then closed her eyes. This was death, she thought, and it felt amazing.

Moments later she heard footsteps in an adjacent corridor. Odessa couldn't manage to open her eyes or call for help. She vaguely recognized the voices, but that didn't mean she could bring herself to truly care about them. They were beginning to sound far off, though she still managed to decide that their owners were speaking about something serious. The voices were hushed and the words hurried. Then, as the voices continued to grow muffled by a ringing in her ears, Odessa heard, "Is that a student on the floor?"

The footsteps she'd heard earlier suddenly sounded like they were running toward her. "Miss Perkins?" She recognized Professor McGonagall's voice, but still couldn't move or speak. Death, she'd hoped, would be faster than this. Professor McGonagall would try and save her. "Miss Perkins, can you hear me? Odessa, I'm-Albus, we need to get her to the hospital wing,"

"I believe you're right, Minerva," Professor Dumbledore said quietly as Odessa felt her body being lifted off the floor. "Shall we call her friends down as well? They will surely wish to know what is happening,"

Panic flooded her mind at the thought of her friends being called to the hospital wing. She only had two real friends, Theresa and Leila, and she didn't want either of them to know the truth about her condition. If they got called to the hospital wing they would never stop asking questions, and Odessa would be horrified. "Miss Perkins, you need to open your eyes. Do just that one thing and I know you'll be alright. Miss Perkins? Can you hear me? Come on now, let's-" Professor McGonagall asked again.

"She appears to have hit her head quite hard on the stones," Professor Dumbledore said as they carried her into the hospital wing. "A fall, and in her state…"

"I realize the consequences, Albus," Professor McGonagall snapped. Odessa started willing herself to die now so she didn't have to hear them discuss her condition. She hated it enough when the healers at St. Mungos discussed it, and somehow her professors talking about it seemed so much worse.

Odessa felt herself being gently lowered on to a bed in the hospital wing. "Professors, you know I've got Mr. Lupin in here; other students need to be-What happened to Miss Perkins?"

"She fell and hit her head, we presume," Professor McGonagall said. "Could a fall worsen her condition at all?"

"Anything could worsen her condition," Madam Pomfrey sighed heavily, immediately using her wand to start various cures. Of course they were going to try and heal her. No one could just let her die in peace, even though that was preferable to just causing problems for everyone around her.

Despite Madam Pomfrey's best efforts, the pounding in her head steadily got worse. A few moments later, Odessa felt her consciousness drifting away.


	4. Chapter Four

Odessa became conscious again to the feeling of her head pounding and someone huffing angrily. She knew it was probably Leila or a professor, and neither option seemed great to her. Still, she knew that opening her eyes was the best way to make sure no one got upset with her for what she'd done. Then again, passing out in the corridor shouldn't be something that upset people but with her luck she was going to have a line of people waiting to yell at her.

She opened her eyes slowly, surprised that the pounding was beginning to subside. She was happy that she could still see-at least part of her had been convinced she'd wake up without being able to see anything. A look to her left though and she was wishing the loss of sight had happened after all. "What...What are you…"

"Well someone had to sit with you. McGonagall refused to call your friends down because she wanted peace. And my friends were convinced that I needed to come sit with you, so here I am,"

"Why do your friends think someone needs to come sit with me? Where are they?"

"That doesn't matter. Why are you in here?"

"That doesn't matter," Odessa retaliated, frowning at Sirius Black. "I'm perfectly fine now, so you can go. Neither of us want to be around each other, so-"

"So how bad is it? I mean honestly," Sirius said, frowning at her. "Were you just passed out in a corridor to prove a point? To try and make you seem like you really are sick? If you want me to-"

"Will you just go away?" Odessa asked, struggling to sit up on the bed. "I don't need this right now. My head hurts and I'm tired and I just-"

"So this is all some big made up story, right? Do you just want everyone to feel sorry for you? Because if so, it's not working on me, Sweetheart. I-"

Odessa just shook her head furiously. She refused to do this with him or anyone else right now; it was ridiculous. "Just go, Black. Just go. I want you gone,"

He just rolled his eyes. "Can't. I leave and I get yelled at by my friends for leaving you alone. If you give up the act _then_ I can-"

"It's not an act!" Odessa yelled, her voice echoing through the nearly empty hospital wing. "You bloody _bastard_ ; it's not an act. I'm going to die. I'm going to...Right after school gets out, unless I'm lucky and I die before then. Every day I'm...And why would I ever want everyone to know? I have two friends this year and I haven't even told them. You and your stupid friends are the only ones who know the truth, apparently, and I never asked for any of you to find out. I don't want everyone to know; I don't even want you to know. And I certainly don't want you here. I...Just leave me alone; just go away, will you? Tell your friends I want you to go since they care so much,"

Odessa rubbed her face with her hands, convinced that Sirius Black will have gotten out of the chair and left. He very obviously didn't like her or want her around. Neither of them were excited to be around each other. But when she uncovered her face he was still there, glaring at her with a slightly softened look than before. "You like Charms, don't you?"

"Don't," Odessa muttered. "I don't want to talk to you. Just leave me alone,"

The two sat in silence for a little while longer. Then, Sirius said, "You like Charms, don't you?"

Odessa was sick of arguing at this point and said, "Yes. I like Charms. I'm...I'm tired though, and I don't feel like talking. Do we really have to do this?"

"Yes,"

" _Why_?"

"Because,"

"Sirius Black I swear if you do not-"

"Because you seem genuinely upset and I caused it and believe it or not, I don't like that I did that. So. I'm going to cheer you up,"

Odessa stared at him, confused. He'd spent so much time irritating her and claiming she was a liar. She couldn't even begin to understand why he'd suddenly want to stick around and cheer her up. It was ridiculous. She didn't want him there, and he didn't want to be there. He just felt guilty, that's what it was. He felt guilty and he wanted to get that off his chest. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you talk so you can feel less guilty,"

"Unfortunately for you, you can't exactly force me to move. I can just sit here and talk to myself if you'd prefer, but that's going to make me sound crazy. Then again, isn't crazy a little hot sometimes? I mean it could work with some of the-"

"I swear if you don not shut up right now-"

"So what would you like to talk about?" he asked, a cocky grin on his face.

" _Anything_ but your pathetic attempts to pick up girls," Odessa muttered, rubbing her face once again. This conversation was going to drive her crazy. But some part of her wanted to have it. Some tiny part of her wanted to know what Sirius Black was going to say to her when he wasn't picking a girl up or tormenting her.

"So that means we can talk about your sickness, right? Because that's not a pathetic attempt to pick someone up. And by the way, my attempts aren't pathetic. They're just...not always successful. But I'll have you know that the girls who agree are more than pleased with everything that happens,"

"I'm sure they are," Odessa said, rolling her eyes. "And no. Sickness is off the table. I...I spend every day thinking about it and I'd rather not do it right now,"

"Hobbies then," Sirius said, propping his feet up on her bed. Odessa stared at him with a raised eyebrow but he just continued to grin and get comfortable in his chair. "What does Odessa Perkins like to do in her free time? Oh, can I guess? Is it pine after Sniv-"

"Let me stop you there," Odessa said. "I do not pine, first of all. And secondly, Severus Snape...We were only friends because we lived close to each other and our fathers were similar. Angry drunks. For that matter, his father is a terrible person and you should lay off of him. Just...realize that people are hurting,"

For a moment he just stared at her, as if trying to assess the validity of her statement. Then he nodded slightly and said, "Tell me your actual hobbies then,"

"I...I suppose I like reading and trying out new spells and dancing ballet-"

"Wait a minute," he interrupted, looking absolutely pleased. His expression made her feel uncomfortable. "Wait a minute. You're a ballerina,"

Odessa felt herself flush. "I'm...when you say it like that it sounds bad,"

"I can't believe you're a ballerina," he said, looking like he was about to laugh. "How have I gone years without knowing that Hogwarts has a ballerina? This is gold, this is absolutely-"

"What's so funny about dancing ballet?" Odessa asked, feeling the need to protect the thing she loved so much.

"You've got to show me," Sirius said, putting his feet down.

"I'm in pain," Odessa said, shaking her head. He didn't seem to care about that though, because he was quickly dragging her out of bed. "Sirius Black-"

"Go on. Pomfrey gave you a potion for pain, I saw her do it. Just show me something easy. You said you like ballet, didn't you?"

"Well yes, but I don't understand why you would care to see it,"

"Do you have any idea how many bloody ballets I've sat through?"

"None?"

"At least ten. It was the only muggle thing my mother cared for because she thought it looked graceful. She used to drag us to them so we could see the dancing and then comment on how terrible and filthy the muggles were," She looked at him, surprised, because as awful as he could be, he didn't hate muggles or muggleborns. "You've got a drunk father. I've got a terrible mother. Looks like both of our parents suck. Anyway, I was always trying to find things to critique during them and I despised them. Make me not hate something, please,"

Odessa stared at him. He stared back with a smile, and she soon found herself saying, "...I will do one and _only_ one pirouette,"

"I don't know what that is, but I'll take it," he said, standing in front of her. Odessa shook her head, unable to stop thinking that their situation was ridiculous. Still, she was quickly spinning and a smile appeared on her face.

It didn't last long though. As she started to slow, Odessa found dizziness overtaking her again. She stumbled, grabbing for the bed to steady herself, and felt herself turn red. She couldn't believe she'd tried to perform a move in front of Sirius Black that had failed so miserably. In the past she'd been able spin for hours without a problem. But now she couldn't even go around three times.

"Are you okay?"

Odessa shook her head. Eventually she climbed back into the bed, her face bright red and her eyes watering. "Can you please just go?" she asked weakly, unable to look at him.

"What happened? You looked like you were enjoying yourself for a moment there,"

"I got dizzy. Just like every day. I...I dance if I take extra potions for pain because then I don't notice aches or dizziness. I used to dance every day and now I...I just…"

"You know I can't dance at all. If it makes you feel any better. So...At least you've…"

"You're terrible at cheering people up,"

"You wouldn't be surprised to hear that that's not the first time someone's told me that," She cracked a grin again and glanced at Sirius to find him grinning at her. "Is that an actual smile? I cannot believe I got an actual smile out of Odessa Perkins. It should go in the record books, really,"

Odessa laughed and shook her head, quickly quieting herself. "You're weird,"

"So insulting. Really, it's the worst thing anyone's ever said to me. I'm scarred,"

"You're _really_ weird,"

"You wound me,"

"You make it too easy,"

To her surprise, he sat and talked to her until Madam Pomfrey came and decided she was good to leave the hospital wing. She was supposed to avoid corridors that didn't have heavy traffic, should she ever pass out and hit her head again. She told Odessa to be careful and then gave her the okay to leave. Odessa was relieved that she could go to her dormitory and lay in bed for a while without having to interact with anyone. While talking to Sirius Black hadn't been unbearable, she didn't feel completely comfortable with him. She didn't feel completely comfortable with anyone but herself.

She was about to get out of bed when she heard a click and saw a flash. For a moment she was shocked, and then she saw Sirius holding a camera. "What the _hell_ are you doing?" she asked furiously, grabbing for the picture. He held it above her head and shook it until it as fully developed. "I demand an explanation for this. And-And I demand you throw that damn picture away!"

"I'm keeping it," he said, smirking at her.

" _Why did you take my picture?_ "

"According to you you're going to die soon," he said. "Someone has to keep a picture of you around so you aren't forgotten,"

"Let me see it,"

"No,"

"Let me see it!"

"No, you're just going to destroy it,"

"Black-"

"Fine," he said. "You can look at it, but you're not going to hold it because I don't trust you to,"

Odessa glared at him as he lowered the picture to a place where she could see it. She absolutely hated having people take pictures of her, and she couldn't understand why Sirius Black would even want to remember her. The picture was horrible too. She had a stupid look on her face and she looked sick. She looked pale and thin and there were bags under her eyes. She looked terrible.

"Throw it away,"

"No," Sirius said stubbornly.

"Where did you even get a camera?"

"You dance. I take pictures. It was in my bag. Nice talking to you, Perkins. This doesn't mean I like you or respect you for what you're doing with Snape,"

"Noted," she said, glaring at him. "Now leave me alone. And throw that picture away!"

He just smirked at her as he walked away, toward the other end of the hospital wing. There were curtains drawn around a bed there and for a moment Odessa considered going over to see who else he was visiting. But she quickly shook her head and gathered her things, grateful for the opportunity to just go to her bed. She felt like sleeping for an eternity and no one, not even Leila, was going to stop her from sleeping.

When she got to her dormitory though she found her friend sitting on her bed and looking irritated. "Where have you been?" Leila demanded, standing up and putting her hands on her hips. "Do you have any idea how worried I was? You go to talk to Sirius Black for _five_ minutes and then you just disappear. Did he hurt you? He's an idiot, Odessa, don't tell me you lowered your standards for him. He's probably got diseases from how many girls he's been with here,"

"Okay, slow down," Odessa said, holding her hands up in surrender. "I did talk to him for...for a bit longer than planned. And I went and walked around. I'm sorry I didn't come back; he wanted to talk about something and it...I was overwhelmed. I should have told you though and I'm sorry about that,"

"You should be," Leila said. "Theresa was looking for you; apparently some of the older students are making fun of her for things. She wanted your assurances and you...you were nowhere to be found. She's in her room now; she's still very upset. You should go make her feel better,"

Odessa sighed and left her room, staring longingly at her bed for a moment before shutting the door behind her. She made her way to the first years' dormitory and, without knocking, entered the room. She wasn't sure which bed was Theresa's, though three of them had open curtains. "Theresa?" she asked to the seemingly empty room.

A sniffle came from one of the beds blocked by curtains. Odessa approached it and carefully parted the curtains to find Theresa's watery brown eyes staring up at her. "Where were you?" she asked quietly. "I...I needed you,"

"I know," Odessa said softly, sitting on her bed and closing the curtains again. "I'm sorry,"

Theresa sniffled again and then moved to lay with her head on Odessa's lap. "I don't like it here," she whispered. "The...The other girls don't like me very much and the boys don't like me at all. And...And the older kids are mean and...and I never get to see you except for meals and you'll be gone soon too,"

"What do you mean?" Odessa asked, some part of her terrified that Theresa knew the truth.

"You're in your sixth year," Theresa mumbled. "You've only got two years left. And then...then I'll be on my own. I don't want to be alone,"

"I know," Odessa stroked her hair gently, hopeful that the action would calm her down. "Theresa, what did the older students do?"

"I don't want to talk about it," she said. "I...I want to go home. I don't want to be magical anymore,"

"You don't mean that,"

"Yes I do. I hate it here. I just want to go home,"

Theresa quickly burst into tears and attempted to bury her head in Odessa's lap. Odessa wasn't sure what to say, so instead of speaking she continued to run her fingers through the younger girl's hair to calm her down. She couldn't believe she'd been blind to Theresa's predicament. Even if Theresa could be irritating at times, Odessa cared for her. She was like a little sister; annoying but someone that she loved.

Guilt quickly flooded her mind. She'd been so obsessed with her own troubles that she'd neglected to notice that Theresa was unhappy. And now she was laying in bed crying rather than being out and making friends. That's what Odessa had hoped for her. She'd hoped that Theresa would get over her shyness and learn to make friends. Instead she was getting tormented by students who thought they were better than her. "I'm going to protect you," she promised, wiping away some of Theresa's tears. "Okay? From now on I'm going to protect you."

Odessa didn't leave her until Theresa had cried herself to sleep. She hated that Theresa had to do that, but she was going to fix it. She was going to protect Theresa, and it was probably going to be one of the last things she'd do. But despite that thought, Odessa didn't ache as badly when she left the first years' dormitory. She was focused on helping her friend, so she couldn't think about what was happening to her. And because she wasn't thinking about it, it couldn't get worse.


	5. Chapter Five

Odessa was not surprised when she was back in the library a week after the hospital wing incident. She spent a good amount of time in there anyway, and being a Ravenclaw pretty much meant that she would be there during her free time.

She'd been spending more time there, actually, for two reasons. The first was that she and Leila could spend time there with Theresa, and they could protect her from the kids that had been teasing her. Leila had agreed that they should watch over her until she made some friends of her own. The second reason was that Sirius Black rarely came into the library, and therefore couldn't interact with her. She was terrified that he would try again, and she really didn't want him to. The last time had been terrible, and Odessa certainly didn't need a round two.

The library had become their new home. They'd picked a favorite table near the back of the room. It was quiet there and people didn't tend to come back there often. No one really wanted to spend time indoors anyway. It was still fairly warm outside which led to groups of students studying on the grounds. Or, more realistically, groups of students getting distracted on the grounds and running around and playing games. Odessa didn't think running was a great idea for her, considering she felt dizzy after walking around for a while. That meant the library was going to be their spot to hang out. Not that her friends knew she'd insisted upon it because of that.

They weren't currently studying though. It was a Saturday again, and none of them were really interested in continuing their studies at the moment. Leila had found herself reading a new book that her parents had sent her. Theresa was working on writing letters to her parents to try and convince them that she was alright now and that they shouldn't worry anymore. Odessa, on the other hand, was writing down steps for a new routine. She never really wrote things out, but this time she wanted to make her dancing mean something. She wanted it to be her last. She wanted to go home for Christmas and perform for her old teachers. They were adults that actually cared for her and weren't drunk or high on something.

She would tell them the truth. Once she had decided that, Odessa thought about dropping out of school. She didn't want to come back and deteriorate in front of the people she cared about. She'd send Theresa and Leila each a letter to explain the truth, and then she would disappear. She would go off the map; maybe she'd go somewhere sunny and warm to die. Maybe she could go to the south of France. It was nice there, or so she'd heard.

Her dream of a warm, comfortable death was interrupted by the appearance of a tall boy with long, greasy black hair and a scowl on his face. "May I speak with you for a moment, Perkins?"

"About what, Severus?"

"Somehow I don't think you'd like me to say in front of these two,"

Odessa felt the warmth drain from her face. After passing out in the corridor and having to chat with Sirius Black, Odessa had pretty much forgotten about her request. She'd been busy and she'd had a lot to think about, including that stupid picture that Sirius had taken and had refused to throw away. But this, she thought, was fitting. She wouldn't die in the sun. She would die alone and cold, because that was what she deserved. She had come from a terrible family and nothing good ever happened to them. "You don't have to go, Odessa," Leila said, looking at Severus warily.

"It's alright, Leila. I'll be right back, I promise this time. I'll actually come back," Odessa promised, leaving the table quickly. She just wanted to get this over with. She wanted to get the poison from Severus and keep it in her robes until the day came for her to use it. She wasn't particularly excited for that day, though she couldn't imagine that anyone would really be looking forward to killing themselves.

Odessa followed Severus into the corridor, wanting nothing more than to just leave him and go back to her friends at their table in the library. They weren't looking at her like she was the scum of the earth, which was Severus's current expression. "Can we just get this over with?" Odessa asked quietly, looking around the empty corridor nervously. "I was a bit busy,"

He just glowered at her and reached in his pocket, pulling out a small vial. "One drop could kill you," he said quietly. "Just don't mix it up with something else and drop dead in the middle of dinner, okay? I have no desire to see you die," For a moment, Odessa couldn't help but hope that he cared about her again. He didn't want to see her die; that had to be a good thing, right? "I imagine it would involve twitching and begging and that's pathetic. I have no patience for pathetic things,"

Her face fell slightly but she nodded and took the vial anyway. "Thank you. I won't tell anyone you did this,"

He nodded once and then, looking conflicted, reached back into his robes for something else. Odessa couldn't help but be confused, though he soon pulled out a second, larger vial. "I made this for you. It's like Pomfrey's pain potions but stronger. If you need more I have it stored in my dormitory. Just...Find me when people aren't around and ask. I'm not, by the way, going to kill you with that spell. It's too risky,"

Odessa nodded and said, "That's fair. Thank you for doing this. I'll...I'll see you around, Severus,"

"Whatever," he muttered. "If you have any sense, Odessa, you'll stay away from Black,"

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"I heard him in Charms yesterday with his friends. He was talking about you, and telling them that you were sick but that he thought you were faking some of it. He had some picture of you too, that he was showing Potter and Lupin. Pettigrew was an imbecile as usual and claimed he'd seen you looking perfectly normal the other day in order to agree with Black. He's going to use you to prove a point. Don't talk to him,"

"I'm pretty sure you lost the ability to make suggestions to my life when you left me alone," Odessa said coldly. "And for your information, I'm well aware that Black knows about me being sick and doesn't believe me. And I'll continue to let him do so. He found out by accident and I don't feel like having him spread to the entire school what's going on,"

"So you're associating with his kind now?" Severus asked. The judgement was clear on his face, and it made Odessa uncomfortable to think about. He'd once been her greatest ally, and now he despised her. She knew it was his friends that made him hate her, but that didn't change the fact that he did.

"Somehow I don't think that 'his kind' is really that much worse than your kind, now is it," she said angrily. Severus seemed to think he could do no wrong, and Odessa was starting to get sick of his attitude. For the first time, she wondered how she'd ever stayed friends with him.

He narrowed his eyes at her and turned away. A moment later he was gone, stalking down the corridor and muttering angrily about her. Odessa sighed heavily and turned to go back into the library. She had promised, after all, that she would actually return this time. Odessa didn't feel like angering her other friends. Once was enough for the day.

When she returned to her table, her friends didn't say anything about the small absence. Instead they all just decided to go about their business. Theresa continued to write her letters and Leila kept reading her book. Odessa tried to go back to writing out her dance, but she could no longer focus on dancing.

It only took her a few minutes to decide that she had to get out of the library. She needed to get somewhere quiet and secluded so she could sit down and think. "Hey," Odessa said quickly. "I'm feeling a bit tired. I think I'm going to head to the dormitory and get some rest. I'll see you both later, okay?"

Her friends nodded and said goodbye and Odessa stood up to go away from the table again. She had to get out of there; being trapped in the library wasn't doing her any favors anymore. She may love her friends and want to keep them safe, but they weren't helping her at all. They'd gotten quiet, almost like they were mad at her for leaving in the first place.

Odessa wandered around for a while, trying to convince herself that she should hold on a bit longer before giving up and using the potion that Severus had given her. Her friends were clearly mad at her. She had a terrible headache, and no one could really convince her that she would be missed.

She was reaching into the pocket of her robes when she heard a click. Odessa whipped around, her hand immediately leaving her pocket. "I've been looking for you," Sirius said, shaking out a new picture. "I thought about going into the library to look for you, but I've already been in there once this year, and a second time felt like it would be too much,"

"Obviously you didn't care too much about finding me then. And really? Another picture? Why?"

"It's fun to see you frustrated," he said, grinning at her. "Now, weren't you going to ask me why I was looking for you?"

"No,"

"Aren't you just the least bit curious?"

"I already know that whatever it is that you want is going to irritate me, so it doesn't really matter what it is that you want,"

"See that's where you're wrong, Perkins. You so want to know; I know you do. You want to know everything,"

"I'll be okay as long as I don't have to deal with you. I thought you didn't like me. What happened to that? I could really use the silent hostility again,"

"Unfortunately for you I don't have much hostility to give. I've figured out what your problem is, Odessa Perkins,"

"Oh really? So what is my problem, Sirius Black?" she asked skeptically.

"You, my dear-"

"Don't call me that," Odessa said. She glared at him then. He probably had nothing important to tell her, and just wanted to waste her time. She needed to just go to her dormitory and swallow the poison and just be done with him and everyone else.

"Okay, easy," he said, holding up his hands in surrender. "Will you listen to me though?"

"For a minute,"

"Okay. I've figured out what's wrong. Why you made that deal with Snape,"

"Oh have you? You've realized that I have the right to die my own way?"

"No, it's not that at all. You've just...You've just forgotten how to live,"

"Breathe, eat, drink, sleep...I'm pretty sure I've got living down, Black,"

"The basics, year, sure. But you don't know how to actually live. You let your fear of-well, I don't really know what condition it is you think you have, but you've let it overwhelm you. Now I don't really like you that much, but I'd rather not have a death at Hogwarts this year. It would really bring down the mood of the castle,"

"You...You are absolutely ridiculous, Sirius. You think...You actually think that you're right? You think-"

"Believe it or not I do think. I think quite often. And I think you're so afraid of dying, because you think you're going to, that you've decided not to live at all. Because then it won't feel like you're losing anything. If you're not living when you're dying then you're not really dying at all,"

"I'm pretty sure that your heart stopping means that you're dead,"

"But you're...I mean, if you're not doing things that make you happy, how can you really be living? Think about it, Perkins. Once you found out you were sick, what did you do?"

Odessa raised her eyebrow and looked at Sirius expectantly. She quickly realized that he actually wanted her to answer, so with a sigh she said, "I went home and got drunk, if you must know, like my father. It numbs him to the world. I thought it would do the same to me,"

"And after that?"

"I realized that drinking wasn't going to really help me. I...I don't know. I cried. And then I suppose I just kind of...accepted it and...just...I don't know. I've just gone forward,"

"Don't you see then? You just accepted it. That's the problem. You can't just accept that something bad is going to happen to you. You...You're just lying down and taking it. You're not fighting back or trying to make the most of whatever time you've got left. When life is against you, you don't just lay down and say 'Oh okay, I suppose this is what we're doing'. You fight. You fight like hell,"

"As lovely as it is to hear your perspective on life, Sirius, I've got other things I'd like to do. So if you could hand over that picture, I'll be on my way,"

"But...Okay. Just give me a chance, will you? Don't just...Go gently toward death. Don't go gently. Fight. With everything in you, against whatever it is that's trying to kill you. If anything is actually trying to kill you,"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you don't really want me to die," Odessa said, raising her eyebrow once again. He was, she decided, a very confusing person.

She could have sworn that he blushed for a moment, thought the color quickly disappeared. "I just don't want you die without fighting. Maybe if you fight, you'd actually start to get better. Maybe being sick is just in your head,"

"One of the finest healers-"

"Okay, fine. Maybe you're actually sick. But maybe you'd feel better if you fought a little and stopped wallowing in this,"

"I might feel better if you left me alone,"

He sighed heavily and shook his hair out of his eyes. "I'll leave you alone on one condition," he said.

Odessa sighed too and nodded. "Alright, fine. Whatever is going to get you out of my hair,"

"You're going to make a list,"

"A list?"

"A list. Of all the things that make you happy, and all of the things you'd like to do before you...pass,"

"Why?"

"Because, Perkins. I'm going to teach you how to live again. And...I want to see this girl back," he said, holding out a picture for her to take. "Not the angry and sad person that I've gotten to see so far this year,"

Odessa stared at the picture he'd handed her. It was one from at least two years ago. She was laughing at something while sitting next to Severus. Odessa hadn't seen herself look so happy since she'd been diagnosed. "Why do you have a picture of me from two years ago?"

This time she was confident that he was blushing. "I take pictures, remember?"

"But you always seemed to not know who I was. Until recently, that is,"

"Do you agree to my condition or not, Perkins?" he asked, though he was clearly avoiding her previous statement. Odessa couldn't help but focus on the picture.

"Fine. But you're going to tell me why you have this eventually. I expect to get an answer some day,"

"We'll see, Perkins. And I'm going to need that list done by Friday,"

"You're seriously going to give me a deadline?"

"If I don't, you'll never finish it. Or start it. I'll meet you outside your last class that day, okay?"

He nodded at her and then started walking away and whistling happily. "How-How are you going to know what my last class is?" Odessa called after him.

"I've got my ways, Dear, don't you worry. I'll see you Friday,"

"Don't call me Dear!" Odessa yelled. His shoulder shook like he was laughing, which immediately irritated her. She stared after him for a moment before she shook her head and walked to her dormitory. Every part of her thought that the day was ridiculous. She felt ridiculous. But she didn't think about using the potion again that afternoon. Instead, she thought about all of the things that made her happy. And against her better judgement, Odessa found herself starting a list. She wrote down things that made her happy first, like the first snowflakes of winter and her pointe shoes. She got a few things there before moving on to things she wanted to do before she passed. But as soon as she got there, Odessa felt stuck. She didn't know what she wanted to do. She didn't have that much time left, and all she really wanted to do was extend her life. If she was given the choice, she would push her illness back ten years. She just wanted ten more years to do everything possible. She wanted more time.

Odessa tapped her quill against her parchment, frowning as she did so. She had to make a list, she'd promised Sirius. And she would much rather get it over with now so she didn't have to think about it all week long. She kind of hated Sirius for making her do this, but she was thrilled she wasn't standing in a corridor and arguing with him. "I don't know," she muttered, rubbing her temples to try and calm her growing headache. "I just...I just don't know,"

She set her list off to the side and reached into her pocket to take out the vial of poison. She needed to stash it in a place no one would think to look, because then no one would find it by accident. After a bit of hesitation, she went into her trunk and wrapped the small vial in a pair of underwear. No one, she thought, was going to be digging through her underwear. Then she remembered the vial of pain potion. She pulled that out too and, without thinking about it too much, swallowed a bit to make her headache go away. She immediately felt relief sweep through her body. Every small ache went away. It was definitely more powerful than all of Madam Pomfrey's concoctions, and Odessa knew that she would need more of it eventually. That upset her slightly. Then she'd have to talk to Severus again. Making the list was bad enough, but talking to him again was a thousand times worse.


	6. Chapter Six

Every now and then Odessa got the feeling that she couldn't breathe. It usually happened before a recital or a large exam. For just a few minutes she would feel like she couldn't breathe, but as soon as she started whatever she was doing air would flow back into her lungs and she would be alright. She would dance or answer questions, and that was something she knew she could do. But those few minutes when everything felt constricted, those truly terrified her. Now more than ever, because she knew that eventually she wouldn't be able to breathe. And when that happened, the air wouldn't come back.

For now though, the air was there. It had gone away a few minutes before, when she'd been struggling to put her bag together after her last class of the day. It was nerves; the nerves always got to her more than she'd care to admit. And for some reason, the fact that she was meeting Sirius Black made her more nervous than any exam could.

He tended to make things into jokes, so a part of her was terrified he would make fun of the things that made her happy. Another part of her was terrified he would show up, because then she would have to spend time with him and she would just be irritated. And a third part, a small part, was afraid he wouldn't show up at all.

She'd fought with Leila that morning. She'd been caught swallowing pain potion and had refused to say what it was for. Leila, who'd been worrying since the morning Odessa had woken up unable to move, was furious. They'd shouted at each other, with Odessa claiming Leila had no need to know the truth and Leila shouting that Odessa was just upsetting her and Theresa because she enjoyed being miserable. Odessa had stormed out of the room at that point, and was convinced that the encounter signaled the end of her friendship with Leila Brown. She was also convinced it meant Leila would take on the duties of caring for Theresa, who'd branched out enough to occasionally talk to some of the Ravenclaw boys in her year.

That, of course, meant that she was alone. The only other person she had was Sirius Black and she didn't even really want him. But he knew the truth, and he'd stuck around her for a while now, and Odessa wanted at least one person in her life to care about her. This led to the fear of him not showing up, which led to her inability to breathe, hence her ten minute stay in her Arithmancy classroom once the day had ended. She simply couldn't bring herself to pack up her things and learn that she was, in fact, truly alone.

But with her reminder to herself she knew that the air would come back. And being alone was going to be good for her, or at least that's what Odessa attempted to convince herself of. She was going to die in a year so it would be better to have no one around. That meant no one would be hurt when she vanished. That had been her goal at the start of the school year, so why couldn't it be her goal now? It made perfect sense, at least to her.

Odessa left the Arithmancy classroom with her head held high. She was alone, but that was okay. She wasn't going to let herself get caught up in the idea of having friends, not when she was going to die so soon. She wasn't going to- "I was beginning to think you were never going to come out."

She froze, turning toward the voice and widening her eyes slightly. "You're here? You actually came?"

"I told you I was going to meet you, didn't I? I do tend to keep promises," Sirius said, walking over to her with a lopsided grin and his hands shoved in her pockets. "So, do you have your assignment? We should really get started; I've only got about an hour now."

"Excuse me?"

"Well what did you expect? I do have other things I have to do today. I'm on a bit of a schedule, Perkins, so I'd rather not dawdle anymore. What's up first? We've got to hurry."

Odessa had been reaching toward her book bag, though at his words she froze. "I…"

"Are you just going to stare? We've got to get going."

"I'm...I'm just your charity case," she muttered, looking up at him and folding her arms across her chest. "And you're being rude, because you don't...you don't care, and I'm...I can't do this. I won't be your charity case, Sirius Black. I have no intention of being some person who helps you feel better about yourself. So you just...You just be on your way, okay? Because I'm not doing this. I'm not going to."

She turned on her heel and quickly started walking away. She kept her arms around her stomach because she suddenly felt sick, and her arms were the best form of comfort she could give herself. She'd been right. She was truly alone. But it felt so much worse than it had before, now that she knew it for sure.

"Perkins stop being dramatic," Sirius said, hurrying to catch up with her. "I've got plans tonight that came up unexpectedly. I didn't want to just not show up, but we do have to hurry. Are you seriously upset that I can't give you my whole night?"

"I'm upset because you're a... you're a right-"

"Okay, I get it. I was rude. Can we just get past this? Merlin, Perkins, you're more like a woman today than you ever have been before." Odessa just shook her head and continued to walk away, picking up her pace to try and get the point across that she didn't want to be around him. She didn't know why she'd even hoped for him in the first place; she had never liked him that much. She heard footsteps continuing along beside her though, and soon enough Sirius was speaking again. "Do you want an apology? I don't know why you're so upset about me being rude. You know I am, and you know I'm only doing this so we can get out of each other's hair. It's not that you're a charity case, it's that...It's that I'd rather not have my year occupied by you, and you'd rather not spend your year with me, so why make it last any longer than it has to? All I have to do is show you how to live again and then you'll be fine and you'll get over this foolish sickness that you seem to think you have," he said, putting his hands on her shoulders to stop her from going much further. "So, now that we've cleared that up, can we please just get on with this? What's number one, eh? Is it at least something interesting?"

Odessa just kept shaking her head. "I can't do this," she said, slapping his hands away from his shoulders. "I'm not your responsibility, Black, so just...Just stop pretending like I am. You don't like me at all, and you don't want to waste your time with me, so you don't have to. I release you from whatever obligation to me you thought you had. Now just...Leave me be and go... I don't care. Just go."

She took a step back and watched as he opened his mouth to say something to her. Odessa couldn't listen though, so without thinking much she turned and took off running. She had to get away from him, and from thoughts about Leila and Theresa, and from the world in general. She just needed to get away from everything, because then the pounding in her head would stop and she could just be at peace, just for a moment.

After taking turns through corridors and staircases, Odessa ducked into a broom closet. The air was gone again, and the only way it was going to come back this time was if she slowed down for a moment and stopped running. But when she stopped, all she could think about was the fact that she was alone, and that no one in the castle really cared for her at all.

Odessa stayed in the broom closet for hours. She knew that she should leave and go back to her dormitory and stay there, because that was ten times more comfortable than sitting on the cold stone floor of a dark closet. But she couldn't bring herself to go there because Leila could be there, and that meant Odessa might have to interact with her.

She stayed long enough that the room around her slowly darkened and became black. Odessa didn't know how the hours had gone by so quickly, but she knew it was far past time for her to be in bed. She must have missed dinner, which was odd because she didn't really feel that hungry. Still, the room had turned pitch black. Odessa held her hand up in front of her face, though she couldn't see it. That too struck her as odd, but Odessa ignored it to the best of her ability. Everything was fine, aside from the fact that she was in total darkness. She willed herself to just die then, because no one would have to see it and she could just float away peacefully. That, she decided, sounded like the perfect outcome of the day.

But it wasn't the outcome she got. The door to the broom closet opened slowly, and Odessa found herself unable to see the light that should have been there. She felt as though her heart skipped a beat when she realized that it wasn't darkness. She couldn't see. She wondered if her eyes would ever work again, and a large part of her feared they wouldn't. Her disease was supposed to attack cells and make them not function properly. It might have just attacked the cells that made up her eyes first. She hated that she wasn't going to be able to see anymore. That was going to make going to Hogwarts a lot harder. She would probably fall off a staircase and down three floors before she'd even been blind a week.

Odessa knew that going blind wasn't the worst thing that could happen to her. She could become immobile again. That morning had been incredibly terrible. Leila had almost found out the truth. Odessa couldn't handle Leila finding out, especially now that they'd started to fight with each other. Odessa felt stupid, having believed that she could really keep a friend in the first place.

A sound from the entrance to the closet brought her back to reality. It was a place she didn't want to be, considering she couldn't tell who was in the room with her. "Are you going to sit there with your eyes closed all night? You've already been in here for three hours."

Three hours didn't seem to come close to how much time Odessa felt she had spent in the room. "Go away," she said, a bit unsure of who she was talking to. The voice seemed familiar, but she just couldn't place it at the moment.

"Not going to happen. I've been waiting outside this door for ages. I'm not leaving without you. First you run away from me and then I have to sit outside a door for three bloody hours while you have some kind of a crisis, and-Oh come on, Perkins. Open your eyes already, will you?" Sirius asked, sounding like he was getting agitated. Odessa had quickly realized who it was once he'd started ranting at her.

"My eyes are open, Black. And no one asked you to sit outside the door. I certainly didn't want that."

"Perkins, I am currently staring at you and I can tell you for a fact that your eyes are not open. Just stop whatever this is and let's get you food, okay? You missed dinner, and for that matter so did I and I'm hungry."

"Black I'm telling you, my eyes are open. I think I'd know if they were closed, wouldn't I?"

"Well I'm just telling you that I'm staring at you and your eyes are definitely closed."

Odessa frowned, wondering why he was doing this. It didn't make sense and it wasn't even a good prank. She reached up to touch her eyes and prove that he was just lying to her. But she didn't touch her eyes; she felt her eyelashes and eyelids. Sirius, she realized, was right. Her eyes were closed. Odessa tried to open them because she felt silly for not realizing it, though she quickly found that she couldn't.

"Perkins? You look a bit worried. What's wrong?" Sirius asked. Odessa was surprised that he sounded worried as well, because he hadn't seemed to care about her much at all that day.

"I...I can't...Open…" Odessa couldn't get the words out.

"Are you seriously going to sit here and tell me you can't open your eyes?" Sirius asked. Odessa could tell from the sound of his voice that he didn't believe her. He thought, once again, that she was just making everything up. She was an honest person. She knew that, yet he never believed her. Odessa wondered what she'd done to deserve that.

To her disbelief, Odessa felt herself start to cry. He didn't believe her, and he didn't really like her. Within in a few seconds the crying had turned into sobbing and hyperventilating. Odessa couldn't breathe, which made her clutch her chest and throat tightly. If she had to guess, this was a complete breakdown; in all actuality she didn't care much about what it was called. Sirius already didn't like her, so why did it matter if she broke down in front of him?

"Hey, woah-Please stop crying. I don't do tears," Sirius said awkwardly. "Seriously, please stop with the tears."

Odessa couldn't speak. She just kept crying and trying to calm herself down. The more she hyperventilated, the more her chest hurt and the less she wanted to be alive. She wondered if she could just drop dead now. At least then Sirius would believe her.

She couldn't decide why she cared so much about that. Odessa usually didn't care too much about what others thought about her. Usually she could just put the thoughts out of her mind, but Sirius Black was oddly important. She wanted him to believe her, but he just didn't.

Odessa felt someone sit next to her and gingerly put an arm around her shoulders. That just made her cry more. He was just pretending to care now, which felt worse than his original actions of the day. Still, she was desperate for someone to take care of her, so she laid with her head on his shoulder for a while.

"What is it?" Sirius asked eventually. "What do you have?"

"Y-You won't believe me no matter what I say," Odessa mumbled, trying to pull away from it. Her sobs had been reduced to just tears again, but she still couldn't stop them completely.

"No one gets this upset when a lie doesn't pan out," Sirius said quietly. "So... I figure you must be telling the truth. So what is it?"

"It's...It's called…" She couldn't bring herself to say the name of the disease. She never said it out loud. She'd done it once, when the healer had given her the diagnosis, but not since. "It's...The...The cells in my body, they're dying. Fast. Madam Pomfrey can give me potions to speed up the production of new ones, though after six months those potions become useless. The cells will die faster. Production will stop all together, near the end. Things start to fail, organs and such. And...And the magic inside of me will...On the last day it'll attack everything that's still functioning. It's a slow death. It's painful. Those that contract it lose color in their skin and eventually their eyes. They bruise, easily, and the bruises stay for weeks because they're not as important to the healing months left and I'll have to spend half of my time in the hospital wing. I..In the last two months the healers suspect I won't be able to walk anymore. In the last month I'll have to have spells cast on me to help me breathe. I...I can barely dance anymore. Everything hurts, all the time, because I'm dying and it's slow and it hurts and I...I can't stop it."

"It...It's not…" He didn't have to finish. Odessa knew by the sound of his voice that he knew what her disease was. She just started nodding, because talking felt like too much. "I'm sorry."

"For?"

"Not believing you,"

"Yeah, will, who would believe me?"

"No one. It's...It's not even common anymore. I thought it had just...disappeared,"

"Apparently not," Odessa said quietly. "I'm living proof that it hasn't died out,"

"So...So why can't you open your eyes?"

"The hell if I know," Odessa mumbled. "I...I"m assuming it's attacking whatever nerves I have in my eyelids or the part of my brain that tells certain things what to do. I don't know. Madam Pomfrey can probably fix it but I...I don't want to go to the hospital wing. I'm going there far more than I'd like and I don't think...I don't think she even likes to look at me anymore. It's hard to treat a patient when you know they're going to die."

"Can't they find a cure?"

"There isn't one. They don't know what causes it so they just can't make it go away with a snap of their fingers. If they could I'd take them up on it."

"So...How much...How long until…"

"Nine months in total, or at least that's what they estimated. Six months until my life is completely taken up by the stupid thing. And...I'd say another two at maximum until I'd rather just bite the bullet and die my own way."

She felt him cringe slightly, and Odessa shuddered a bit too. It didn't sound like a great outcome, not even to her. "Do you trust me?" Sirius asked eventually.

"Not really, no," Odessa said. "Why do you ask?"

"Because we're getting out of this room. I'm...We're going to go to the kitchens and I'm going to make you try the best dishes of your life. I'll have the house elves prepare them, they'll be happy to. They love me down there. It's on your list though, isn't it? Trying the best food in the world? Well, to be fair I didn't get a great look at your list. But if it's not on there then it should be. Anyway, I just so happen to have a fantastic knowledge of food. After that we'll go to the hospital wing and get your eyes fixed."

"Why wouldn't we get them fixed first?"

"Because if I'm honest my friends are going to be watching for us all over the castle, and if I take you straight to the hospital wing they're going to think I did something and then murder me. Remus is quite a big fan of yours, did you know that? Yeah, apparently he can't stand the way you smell because he's sensitive to sickness or something-don't ask-but he thinks you're smart and kind. He's not a fan of the idea of me corrupting you." Sirius said.

Odessa was surprised when she laughed slightly. She hadn't expected to be amused at the situation, though she actually was. To her surprise she found herself nodding and letting Sirius grab her hand and lead her to the kitchen. It wasn't how she'd expected things to go. But a small part of her felt like she was going to be cared for again. Even though it was expected, she would accept anyone caring about her.


	7. Chapter Seven

Odessa wasn't sure how they got to the kitchen. She wasn't even sure she was in the kitchen until she heard the small, slightly squeaky voice of the house elves. She felt Sirius push her into a chair and slide her over to a small table, and then walk away and talk to the house elves with a quiet voice so she couldn't hear them. She sighed heavily and rubbed her face with her hands, wishing she could pry her eyes open. It was ridiculous that she couldn't open her eyes. She should be able to see, at least, if she was going to have a few decent months before her death.

She heard someone pull a chair out next to her and she turned her head toward Sirius. "Have you picked something decent? Or am I going to end up dying tonight instead of in nine months?"

"I'm not exactly trying to kill you faster," Sirius said. Odessa was sure he was rolling his eyes, which made her blush slightly. She hated sounding stupid and her comment, she realized, was pretty idiotic. "They're going to make us a couple of things, things that are my personal favorites. You may have had them before; I don't keep track of everything you eat,"

"That's fair. It's not...It's not gross food, is it?"

"I don't think it's gross."

"That makes me feel like it's going to be gross."

"You're going to love it. Stop doubting me, Perkins. I promise you're going to love it,"

She sighed again and folded her arms across her chest. She didn't really trust Sirius, but she had agreed to this so she had to go through with his idea. "How do I know-"

"Oh for-Perkins, I have no intention of poisoning you. I may not have acted like it, but I don't completely hate you so I don't want to kill you right now."

Odessa sighed heavily but nodded all the same. "Alright. Fine. Fine; I'll eat whatever goods you want me to. But then you're promising me that you're taking me to the hospital wing, and you're going to let me get my eyes fixed."

"You've got a deal," Sirius said. "But we have to wait for the food to get ready first. And I think that means I get to learn all about you, right?"

"Oh, yeah, definitely not," Odessa said, wanting to roll her eyes but finding herself once again unable to. "I don't really feel like telling you much of anything about me. I like a bit of privacy. I like not having you knowing every secret that I have."

"Fine then I'm going to ask you questions instead. And you can ask me questions too, okay? Because that seems fair and I know you're all about things being fair and equal," Sirius said. Once again Odessa wanted to roll her eyes but found that relatively impossible at the moment. So instead she just nodded, wanting to get out of her current situation. "Okay. This first one is really important so you have to give me a serious answer, okay?" She nodded again, her curiosity sparked by his words. "What," he asked slowly, "is your favorite color?"

She let out a loud laugh. He laughed too, and that felt good. "You're not serious." she said, finding the question quite silly.

"I'm always serious."

For a moment Odessa couldn't tell why he was laughing at his statement. But then she said, "Did you ser-honestly just make that joke?"

"Every time," he said proudly. "James wants to punch me every time I do it to him. So, you know, I should probably stop making it, but I just can't."

"You're ridiculous."

"No, that's a spell to stop boggarts. You're getting confused; I'm Sirius, don't you remember?"

Odessa just started to shake her head again. She was amused by him, even though she didn't want to be. He was just funny; she couldn't deny it. "It's lilac, by the way. My favorite color."

"Isn't that just purple?"

"No, it's fancier. It's lilac. It's a beautiful flower. It's spectacular."

"I'll take your word for it. It's your turn to ask now, by the way." he said. Odessa couldn't help but wonder what his face was doing t the moment. He probably looked smug because he'd gotten her to do this, but then again she was curious to learn more about him. All she knew was that he was friends with James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew, and that he was a loud Gryffindor boy whose family all came from Slytherin. He was, she supposed, quite interesting and the opportunity to learn more was one that enthralled her.

"Alright. What's your favorite color then?"

"Red. Gryffindor pride, you know? Okay, what's your favorite food?"

"I'm partial to cherries. They're delicious. And you?"

"You'll find that out in a bit. That was a waste of a question on your end, Odessa. Do better next time, won't you?"

She frowned at him but nodded and said, "You still could just say what your favorite food is. Just because I'm going to find out when I eat it doesn't mean I can't know now."

"I think it does. Tonight's foods are supposed to be a surprise, not something I clue you into ahead of time. My turn, yes? Okay. What's your goal for after Hogwarts?"

Odessa frowned again. "I don't get to have a goal after Hogwarts, Sirius." she muttered, irritated that she had to admit it.

"Okay then what was your goal for after Hogwarts before you found out you were sick?"

"I wanted to be a professional dancer. It's not in our world, not really, but I think it would have been amazing nonetheless. I...it still upsets me that I didn't get to do it, but I'll get over it eventually. I don't really have much of a choice otherwise."

"What would you have wanted to dance in?"

"Not your turn to ask a question. What's your goal after Hogwarts?"

"You know it's really no fun if you just repeat questions I've already asked you. Be original, Perkins, come on."

"Fine. Next time I'll be original. But this time I want to know what your goals are. You get to have a life after Hogwarts, and I don't. So what are you going to do?"

"I think I'd like to be an auror. I want to keep people safe and stop the irritating ones who think they're better than someone else because they have more magical ancestry. I'll probably move in with James, because he's like my family and I don't think either of us are ready to split up yet."

"And are you going to settle down eventually, or will you always be the one who's out for different witches?"

"Give me ten years and I'll answer that. I don't want to make the wrong choice and have to stay with a person I don't love. Everyone wants to rush into it these days. I want to take it slow. And I get to ask you two questions now, because you asked me two of them and it's only fair."

Odessa nodded and said, "Ask away, then."

"What would you have wanted to dance in?"

"Anything the Royal Ballet put on. They're...they're amazing. I always wanted to dance for them. Until, of course, this whole mess with my body trying to kill me. That made it kind of hard to keep dreaming about being a dancer."

"Do you have a favorite animal?" he asked next. Odessa was confident it was because he wanted to avoid any more topics that might upset her.

"As a matter of fact I do. I adore pandas. They're...I think they're sweet. After that are cats. I love cats; they're adorable creatures."

"What about dogs?"

"Dogs? I mean they're nice and all, to look at, but I got bit by a dog when I was a child so I don't tend to go near them."

"A dog bit you?"

"On the forehead, yes. I've got a slight scar there, can you see it?" Odessa leaned forward to try and show him her scar. But then she felt soft, warm hands on her face, and a thumb brushing gently over her ten year-old wound.

"Looks like it must have been nasty," he said. "Though I think you just haven't met a good dog yet. You've been avoiding them ever since you were bit, yes?" Odessa nodded, feeling her face start to turn red as he touched her face. She couldn't understand why she was blushing. She felt completely ridiculous, and she didn't know how to calm her face down. It was betraying her for it, and she couldn't ever forgive it. Sirius was going to think she liked him if she kept blushing when he touched her.

"Anyway, yeah, it wasn't my favorite thing that's ever happened to me. But...But I've gotten over it, so...So what can you do?"

"Meet a good dog. I think you need to find a good dog. I'm a big believer in dogs. I think they're fantastic."

"You're oddly obsessed with dogs," Odessa said, smirking slightly. "I don't think I've ever met someone who loves dogs as much as you."

"They're amazing," he said defensively. "They're really amazing. Anyway, I think it's your turn."

"That it is. What's your number?"

"My what?"

"The number of people you've done this with. Taken down to the kitchens and given them food to try. Don't try and pretend I'm the first. You've got to have the most dates in the entire school. So how many?"

"Is this a date then?"

Odessa turned red again. "No, it's not. But I like to feel somewhat special,"

"I've only brought a couple of people here. And I don't give them my favorite foods, usually, I just ask the house elves to make something for us."

"So what's the number? Who are the people?"

"Well I bring Remus down here quite frequently for hot chocolate when he's not feeling well. James comes here with me every time he gets shot down by Lily. Peter comes with us a lot, but I don't tend to bring him unless I have a good reason to. He mostly likes to play chess in the common room. Those are the main people. I've brought Marlene down before because I like her and I want her to know that she's a good friend. There was one girl, a Hufflepuff two years above us that I brought once, because she really liked to talk with the house elves. I'm sure there are a few more, but this isn't a common date spot for me. And, like you said, this isn't a date. This is just two acquaintances eating food together in a kitchen. What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing, of course, I'm just...I was just thinking that it's...I don't know. I apologize for asking. It was a fairly stupid question, after all."

"Not stupid, just unnecessary."

"Fine. It's an unnecessary question. I'm not really good at this, so maybe we should get off this topic."

"Fair point. Okay, I have another really important one."

"If you ask my what my favorite season is or something ridiculous like that…"

"Actually I was going to ask you what your favorite type of weather is."

"Rain."

"Rain?"

"It reflects the inner demons of my life."

"Oh, well-"

"I'm not serious," Odessa said, feeling like it was her turn to smirk. "That was a joke. I prefer cloudy days because the sun doesn't burn my skin. Kind of perfect to live in London then. But I don't mind rain, I suppose. It's calming. And it makes the world not feel so hot. Really I just don't like to be hot."

"That's a fair point," Sirius said. "I prefer the sunshine myself, though I can understand why you would like clouds. And-Hey, looks like the food is ready. You're really up for trying all of this?"

"I'm not completely convinced that I have a choice," Odessa said, sighing a bit. "Alright. Bring it on, Sirius Black. Though if your food makes me throw up I'm going to hex you."

"I can handle that. I promise you're going to love it." He said.

Odessa spent the next hour of her life trying all of Sirius Black's favorite foods. They had sweet desserts more frequently than anything else, because apparently he had a large sweet tooth. They had some savory dishes too. Odessa was surprised to find that she liked everything she tried. She hadn't expected to like any of it, considering they had such different tastes. But there wasn't a single thing she could think to dislike. Even the food that tasted weird was fairly delicious.

After an hour Odessa sat back in her chair, sighing contentedly. "Okay. That was good. I don't think I'll ever doubt you when it comes to food again."

"Wise choice, my dear," he said, to which Odessa frowned. "Right. Let's get you to the hospital wing now, yeah?"

Odessa sighed again, though it definitely wasn't out of content. She'd almost forgotten that she couldn't open her eyes. Being with Sirius and trying all of the food made her forget, and she hated remembering. It was the worst part of her life at the moment, if she had to be honest. Every day she woke up and for a few seconds she could believe that everything was okay; that she wasn't going to be dead in less than a year. But then the aches came back and she remembered everything, how scared she was and how much she wished that she could just curl up in a ball and go home because going home was all she wanted sometimes.

"I would like to see again," Odessa said eventually. "Lead the way."

The walked to the hospital wing together, Sirius with his hand on her arm to guide her and make sure she was always going in the right direction. "Looks like we're here. I'll get Pomfrey; stay put."

Odessa heard him walk away and sighed softly, hoping that whatever made her unable to open her eyes was easily fixable. She needed to hear that it could be fixed; that she would see the world again even if she didn't think it was very beautiful anymore. A few moments later footsteps sounded, and she heard Madam Pomfrey start to speak. "Can't open your eyes? I hope they're not going. It seems Mr. Black knows now?"

She was being led to a bed. "He knows. He found out by accident. And then took it upon himself to walk me down here to make sure I got to the hospital wing alright. It...It was very kind of him. But if he hasn't already gone, he can go now. I'm here so I don't need him anymore."

"Did you hear that, Mr. Black?" Madam Pomfrey asked. "You're free to go now. I imagine something else will bring you here eventually."

"If you don't mind I'd rather stay. I want my beautiful face to be the first thing Perkins sees when she opens her eyes." Sirius said, and Odessa thought he must be smirking.

"Go. I know you've got better things to do today. So...I'll see you later. Hopefully."

She heard a heavy sigh and then footsteps walked away from her. "Just so you know he's gone and parked himself in a chair near the door. He doesn't seem particularly keen on leaving you."

"I'm a charity case to him," Odessa told her quietly. "He thinks he can save me or something if he sticks around. Which he knows isn't true, because he knows what's wrong with me and he knows that no one can fix it."

"Then are you really a charity case?" Madam Pomfrey asked. Odessa opened her mouth to respond but found herself incapable of saying a word. So she snapped her mouth shut and frowned slightly, allowing Madam Pomfrey to just attempt to fix her eyes.

Odessa wasn't sure how long she sat in the hospital wing before Madam Pomfrey asked her to try and open her eyes again. She felt ridiculous, but there wasn't anything she could do to make the feeling go away. She took a deep breath before trying to open her eyes. At first everything was blurry and she wasn't quite sure she was seeing at all. After a few moments some of the blurriness disappeared, but much of it remained. "Can you see my face? Can you make out the details of it?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

Odessa shook her head slightly. "What's wrong?" she asked in a small voice. She was scared and she just wanted to be better.

"It's what I thought. There's been damage to the eyes that hasn't been repaired yet. They must not be high up on the list you're trying to keep functioning. I'll go get you something that might help."

Odessa could tell that she walked away. She was glad for that, because then she could wipe at her eyes slightly and Madam Pomfrey wouldn't have to know that she was crying. The healer came back fairly quickly though and slipped something on to Odessa's face. "Glasses?"

"Glasses. Can you see better?" She tapped the lenses with her wand and then stepped back. The details of her face slowly came into focus again, and Odessa let out a sigh of relief.

"I can. You're clear again."

"Good. Now you'll have to come back periodically and I'll check to make sure you're wearing the right kind. I want you to be able to see, Miss Perkins, because if that gets taken away from you then..."

"It would just be another thing to add to the list," Odessa said with a sigh. "Am I good to go back to my dormitory now? I'm exhausted."

Madam Pomfrey sighed heavily but nodded. "You're fine to go back to your dormitory. Have you considered telling anyone other than Mr. Black?"

"They don't need to know," Odessa said softly, looking down at her feet as she stood up from the bed. "I don't want to worry them."

"I think it would hurt more in the end when they find out you've been hiding your illness from them." Madam Pomfrey said, sounding firm.

Odessa just sighed heavily. "Honestly I'm not expecting to be friends with them at that point. I'll be long gone by then. I'm not going to waste away here."

She wished the healer a good night and then quickly started to leave the hospital wing. She noticed Sirius getting up to follow her, so before he could react she sprinted out of the room and kept going until she was in an empty classroom. After waiting ten minutes she slipped out and tried, to her best ability, to make it to the Ravenclaw common room without being spotter. Her plan worked, and she made it to bed without any other disturbances. It had been a long day. Her nose itched from the glasses she'd been given. And she really just wanted to stop talking to everyone around her, because then they wouldn't be upset with her.


	8. Chapter Eight

Odessa was quiet when she walked up to her dormitory that night. It would be nearly impossible to hide the truth from Leila and Theresa now. She'd always bad perfect eyesight and now the glasses on her face were a testament that something was failing in her. Maybe, she hoped, they would just continue to ignore her and wouldn't focus on the fact that her appearance had changed? It wasn't a likely hope. They hadn't been that mad at her to begin with, just frustrated enough to avoid her for a few days. Leila and Theresa were good people. They were good people who didn't deserve to be hurt. And in a few short months Odessa was going to destroy them.

But luckily enough she got to her dormitory and found everyone asleep in bed. It wasn't that late, or at least she didn't think it was very late. She wasn't, however, going to complain about it. For a few hours she could just fold up her glasses and pretend that nothing was going to happen. It would be amazing, at least for her sleep that night. She always felt guilty for keeping things from her friends but she couldn't exactly tell them if they were sleeping.

She didn't dream. She hardly ever did anymore. The paranoia in her head convinced her that her brain was slowly losing functions. Odessa wasn't too keen on thinking about that though, so she chose to believe it was just because there wasn't anything interesting to dream about anymore.

When she woke up in the morning her world was blurry. For a moment she was confused because she'd never lived in the blurriness before. She quickly remembered though, and reached for her new glasses with a groan. She was still tired. She'd slept a perfectly acceptable amount of time, but exhaustion refused to evade her. Odessa yawned, closing her eyes and stretching slightly before standing up to get ready for the day. She was up earlier than the rest of the girls in her dormitory but that wasn't really a surprise. She was always up early; she always had been. It was a habit she'd gotten into at home. She'd gotten up early to avoid seeing her parents; she could leave the house and then she could spend her day doing something she actually wanted.

Odessa got ready quickly. She wanted to get to breakfast early so she could crumble some things on her plate and pretend she'd eaten a good amount, just in case one of her friends came to sit with her. They hadn't been lately, but a small part of her wanted them to. Her appetite was gone though which meant pretending to have already finished was the only way to fool anyone. Otherwise they'd ask why she wasn't eating food and she'd have to come up with an explanation. Having the crumbs on her plate saved her the trouble of coming up with a new lie.

But as she left the bathroom that morning, she found herself face to face with Leila. Her friend-Odessa wondered if she could even call her that anymore-looked her up and down with a blank expression. But soon anger overtook her face. Then there was a strong hand gripping her upper arm, and she was forcefully being led out of the dormitory and into a supply closet in the common room. "You're going to explain whatever is going on with you and you're going to do it now." Leila said.

Odessa just stared at her for a moment. "I...I don't really think...I don't need to explain anything to you. And nothing's going on with me."

"Liar," Leila said. "You've been off all year long. And now you're wandering around with glasses? Eyesight doesn't go bad that quickly. You could see fine yesterday. Something's going on and I want to know. I deserve to know."

"We've been friends for a month."

"Over a month. And I don't see you with any other friends. For some reason you've been with Sirius Black, but he doesn't really count as a friend. And something tells me he knows more than I do, considering you're relaxed with him."

"I am not _relaxed_ around Sirius Black," Odessa protested. "I'm…"

"Relaxed," Leila said, rolling her eyes. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you'd been friends for years. He knows. And I want to know too. So what is it? I can take it. You know I can handle a lot."

Odessa nodded slightly. She did know that Leila could handle a lot. Leila was one of the strongest witches at Hogwarts. She'd lost her brother in their third year. Everybody knew about it; it had been the worst quidditch accident of the year. He'd been playing professionally but in a mishap had fallen without someone noticing. Odessa remembered when Leila found out. She'd gotten pulled out of Transfiguration class, but the story had been in the paper that morning. Some idiotic reporter had published the story before the family had all been notified. They'd found out from a newspaper, and Odessa couldn't imagine anything worse. But a week later Leila had come back, a tentative smile on her face, and resilience in her heart. She'd already lost someone close to her once. It was part of why Odessa was so hesitant to tell her.

"Odessa please," she said softly, pleading now. "Just tell me what's wrong. I can handle it; you know that I can. I just need to know what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong, really," she lied, trying to hold out a little bit longer. "It's...just a little disease. You've probably never heard of it, and it's…"

"Is it life-threatening?" Leila asked, a steely resolve to her voice. Odessa knew she was going to be the strong person she was after her brother had died. Odessa hated that she had to be strong because of her.

She nodded slightly, her eyes trained on the floor. She suddenly felt tired and scared. She'd told herself it would be better if Leila and Theresa left her alone, because they wouldn't get hurt. But now some part of her was worried that Leila would leave and pull Theresa with her. She was scared that she was going to die alone. "And is it life-threatening to you? Is it...Is it going to end up killing you?" Odessa nodded again, swinging her foot around nervously. "How long until it does?"

"Now?"

"From now, yes."

"About...nine months, at most. Probably less because sometimes I give up and...and then I can't…"

Leila let out a long, slow breath. "So right at the end of the year? Merlin…And you thought you'd tell Sirius Black before me?"

"That honestly was an accident," Odessa said, relieved that Leila didn't sound too mad anymore. "I...I made a deal with someone. They made me a potion so that if it got to be too much...and some pain potion too, to relieve the pain. And he overheard, and then last night I...I had a bit of a break down and told him how bad it was. He didn't really believe me until then."

She looked back up at her friend, wanting to see if she looked angry. "You've been going through this all alone until him," Leila said softly. "Odessa…"

And then they were hugging. Leila was clinging to her and crying. Odessa was careful not to start crying herself; she was afraid she wouldn't be able to stop if she started. It was hard enough to wrap her mind around the fact that Leila hadn't run off screaming yet; she couldn't handle having a second breakdown. Odessa hugged her back, firmly enough to remind herself that Leila was there, and Leila actually did care about her and wanted her to be okay. "Please don't leave," Odessa whispered. "I know it's going to suck and it's going to hurt, but I...I don't want to die alone."

"You won't," Leila says, releasing her from the hug in order to hold her shoulders and look her in the eyes. "You won't die alone. I'll be here. Theresa will be here. And Sirius Black, for some odd reason, will be here too. We'll be quite the odd group, but we won't leave you alone. You're our friend, Odessa, and you're loved, and we won't leave you."

Odessa wiped her eyes before she could start really crying. "Thank you," she whispered. "I have to tell Theresa, don't I."

"She has to know," Leila said. "It would be wrong to keep that from her. She's a strong girl; she can find a way to cope. I'll be here to help her once you're gone. I...I don't like the sound of that. You're my friend. I...I don't…"

"I don't much like the sound of it either," Odessa said, trying to find some way to lighten the mood. "But it will be alright. You can take over the space where my bed was and have extra storage or, I don't know, build a shrine or something, because I think I deserve a shrine, maybe."

They laughed then, and things started to feel better. Leila was going to go through this with her; she wasn't going to leave Odessa alone. They were going to figure things out together. That, she thought, would be enough to make Sirius happy. He'd probably stop hanging around her then because he'd know she was taken care of; he'd know that she was living. But then he would probably leave her. He was only doing this because he wanted her to not die from poisoning. He thought that if he could do a few things with her that made her happy then he could prevent her from dying her own way. Odessa knew that wasn't true. And she knew that no matter how much she denied it, she wasn't going to like not having Sirius around. They hadn't spent much quality time together, but it was enough for her to know that she liked him. He was a good friend, even if he was a terrible person sometimes.

"How about we get ready for the day," Leila said, "pig out on some waffles, because who cares if you gain a little bit of weight now? You probably...you probably won't be able to keep it on anyway."

"Waffles?" Odessa asked. "I...I could go for a waffle."

"No. Not one waffle, Odessa. Think big: _two_."

She laughed again. They got ready quickly and, upon going down to the common room, found that Theresa was sitting in a chair by the fireplace. "Hey Kiddo," Leila said, pulling Theresa off the couch. "We're getting waffles. A minimum of two each. You in?"

Theresa looked between them. Odessa could tell from her eyes that she was unsure of them; they'd been fighting a bit more lately. Theresa had always hated fighting. Her parents used to fight so much that they almost got a divorce. They'd worked out their problems, thankfully, but Theresa had always hated to be around people that were fighting after that. "We're good, Terry," Odessa said with a smile. "Come get waffles with us."

Her face broke out into a grin and she nodded excitedly. "Waffles sound great."

Together they went to the great hall and settled into their normal places at the Ravenclaw table. Odessa noticed that Sirius wasn't there, but she decided not to think much of it. She didn't want to think about anything that could potentially ruin her good mood. She was happy, at least for the time being, and if she wanted to have a decent day she needed to stay happy. Waffles with Theresa and Leila were a good way to make sure her day started off right.

They talk for at least an hour, munching on waffles. They quickly started to complain about how full they felt, but Leila insisted they at least finish what had been put on their plate. "After all," she claimed, "It's not every day that you get a stack of waffles for breakfast." That wasn't really true; waffles were always on the table for breakfast. Leila just tended to eat cereal and be done with things. For her it was special.

Odessa tried to keep up with her friends. She wanted to be normal for a little bit; she wanted to do something with her best friends and make sure that they thought she was normal. She didn't want to let on to Theresa that anything was wrong quite yet; she wanted to have a conversation with Leila and figure out the best time to tell her, and the best way too. Odessa and Theresa had been close ever since Theresa had been born and Odessa had watched her or played with her. Telling the girl who was basically her family that she was going to die wasn't going to be taken well, o she had to find a good way to do it.

After about a waffle and a half she felt full. She thought it would be alright; she could finish and then go lie down until her stomach returned to its normal size. But as she put another bite into her mouth, the feeling of being full quickly transitioned into one of sickness. In a blink of an eye, she felt ready to throw up. She felt like if she even moved she would empty the contents of her stomach on the table in the great hall.

"I need to use the bathroom," Odessa said quietly. She'd turned pale and Leila could tell that something was wrong, but she wasn't entirely sure what it would be. "I'll be back soon."

"No problem," Leila said. Odessa smiled as she put her arm around Theresa's shoulders and encouraged her to eat a little more of the banana she'd put on top her waffle. Odessa got up and, one hand on her stomach and the other covering her mouth, tried to hurry out of the great hall as quickly as possible. She was going to be sick; she could hardly hold it in anymore.

She nearly ran into Sirius as she exited the room. He looked tired and a little worse for wear, but she wasn't sure why that would be. "Hey," he said, smiling at her. "Are you okay?"

Odessa shook her head, but that pushed her over the edge. He gripped her shoulders as she swayed slightly on the spot. And then promptly deposited her breakfast on his shoes. "Oh-" was all he could say before his friends joined him.

"This is your friend, right Sirius?" Peter Pettigrew said, but he recoiled quickly.

"I'm sorry." Odessa said, her voice shaking. She still felt like she was going to be sick. She was still swaying even though Sirius had a grip on her shoulders.

"It's...It's fine," Sirius said, though he looked slightly disgusted. "James, Mate, can you clear this off my shoes?"

"Yeah, yeah, of course," James Potter said, his eyes wide and squinted at the same time. He didn't seem to know what to make of their situation; Odessa wasn't really sure what to make of it either. "There you go, Padfoot. All clear."

"Thanks," Sirius said, looking a bit relieved. But then he looked worried again. "What's wrong, Perkins?" he asked softly.

"I don't feel well."

"Oh really? I thought you throwing up on my shoes was just our new way to greet each other. What doesn't feel good? Do you need to go to the hospital wing?"

She shrugged, her face turning from pale to red as she realized they were actually having this conversation in front of his friends. They all probably knew the truth, because from what she'd heard the group of boys didn't like to keep secrets from each other. Still, the idea that so many people knew about her condition made her uneasy. "Bathroom, maybe." she said eventually, scared that she was going to be sick again. It had been a mistake, eating so much for breakfast. She knew she didn't always handle food well, and after a big meal the night before, a huge breakfast hadn't been smart at all.

"Okay," Sirius said. "Come on, I've got you. Let's get to one, yeah? Unless you'd like to make another mess in the corridor."

Odessa nodded and found herself leaning on Sirius so she didn't fall over. They made it to the lavatory pretty quickly. It took her a few moments, but she eventually realized that Sirius's friends had followed them as well. As he opened the door, he loudly announced, "Four boys coming into the room to help a sick friend. Get out now or don't bother yelling at us for indecency."

She watched a first year girl scurry out the door. Either there was no one else inside or they just didn't care, because no one came out after her. "Come on," Sirius said, his voice surprisingly gentle. "Come on, I've got you. Let's get to a stall. And then we'll go to Pomfrey and get you something to settle your stomach. Yeah? That work for you?" Odessa nodded again and let him lead her to a stall. She felt humiliated; the Gryffindor boys were all just watching this and they were probably judging her and thinking that she was a pathetic mess who couldn't take care of herself. Odessa felt pretty pathetic at the moment; she felt like she couldn't do anything to help herself and that was scary. "Let it out, Perkins. You'll be fine."

Odessa realized that he had grabbed her hair and was patting her back. "Thanks." she said weakly, but then she was throwing up again.

It took her a few moments of retching to realize that he was barking orders at his friends. "Pete, tell her friends that she's feeling a little under the weather but that I've got her. Leila Brown and a little first year girl; they should be sitting at the Ravenclaw table." Odessa wanted to ask how he knew that, but she couldn't get the words out. "Remus, go to the hospital wing and get a potion to help, will you? I don't want her to have to be sick all day," Odessa heard their footsteps as they hurried out of the bathroom.

"What can I do, Padfoot?"

"I'm going to say...Yeah, go get Evans. Pray she comes with you or I'm going to hex the pants off you."

"Oh come on, you couldn't have given that one to Remus? Evans won't speak to me right now."

"Just _go_ , James. Tell her it's an emergency and that it's not you trying something with her." Sirius demanded.

"What do we even need her for?"

" _James_ -"

"I'm going, I'm going. Calm down a little bit, Padfoot."

Odessa heard his footsteps leave the room too. She continued to retch a little bit more, but she soon found herself sitting back and putting a hand on her forehead. She felt terrible; she wasn't quite sure why. She'd eaten too much, of course, but that didn't mean she should be so sick. She could throw up a time or two, but after that she should be fine. "What's wrong?" Sirius asked softly.

Odessa wasn't sure why he was being so gentle with her. The events of the previous night must have changed something in him otherwise he wouldn't care half as much about her. Knowing that she was dying must have changed some of his opinions about her. "I don't know," she said miserably. "I don't know. Too many waffles? Too much food in general? I've had trouble keeping it down, or at least keeping as much down as I used to."

"The disease?"

"Probably. I'm not entirely sure."

"Well that's just rotten luck," Sirius said. "Now it won't even let you eat waffles?"

Odessa laughed slightly, surprised at herself. "Yeah. It's a real pain in my ass."

Sirius grinned at her, and Odessa smiled back at her. She felt disgusting, because there was a vile taste her in mouth and she'd just thrown up in front of a boy she could barely call her acquaintance. But he was being really nice, all things considered, so laughing didn't really feel that bad.

A few minutes later, they heard bickering coming toward the door to the bathroom. The door opened, and Odessa heard Lily Evans say, "James Potter if you don't have a spectacular reason for bringing me into this bathroom in the _middle_ of breakfast-"

"I _told_ you I had a good reason, didn't I? Just-Right here! Right here, do you see?" The door of the stall they were in opened, and Odessa looked up and then quickly back down.

"Did you bring me here," Lily said slowly, "to see that Sirius is sitting in a bathroom with Odessa Perkins? I'm going to-"

"She's sick," Remus said. Odessa jumped slightly, surprised at his arrival. She hadn't realized he'd be back yet. "She threw up on Sirius's shoes-you'd probably have loved to see that. The look on his face...Well, he held it together decently enough. He's not one for germs, really, Sirius."

"Shut up," Sirius muttered. Odessa glanced at him to see that he had turned red as well. "I thought you might be better at helping because you're good at potions and if Remus couldn't get one from Pomfrey…"

"She won't give me one, by the way," Remus added. "She doesn't want it going to someone she can't treat."

"I thought that might happen," Sirius muttered. "Crazy woman, she is. That's why we need you. You're one of the best potions students in the castle. It was you or Snivellus and considering…" He trailed off again and glanced at Odessa, who turned red almost immediately. "Well, I just didn't think he'd take too kindly to James dragging him out of the great hall. So here we are; I thought you'd help a bit more. You and Perkins used to be friendly, at least, right?"

"I am here, you know," Odessa muttered, her head starting to pound from all of the talking. "You don't have to talk about me like I'm not sitting right next to you. And you didn't have to get Lily; I'm fine. I just want to go back to my dormitory. And I don't need all of you standing around me. I've barely talked to any of you. I'm...I'm going to go back. Just...Merlin, just leave me alone."

She tried to stand, but she felt weak and leaned against the side of the stall for support. Sirius was up almost immediately, holding her arm so she wouldn't fall. Odessa pushed him off; being sick was putting her in a foul mood. And she didn't want him helping her anymore. He barely liked her; they'd had a decent night last night but that didn't mean they were going to be friends or anything like that. "I'm going to my dormitory. And I don't really need any of you to follow me."

Odessa moved to leave and to her surprise, everyone parted to let her through. Peter Pettigrew had just came into the room and looked confused. Odessa made it halfway to the door before the room started to spin. She stopped, closing her eyes for a moment in order to steady herself. She was not going to fall down; they were Gryffindors and she knew they'd never let her go alone if she fell down. She took a deep breath, noticing that the room suddenly felt much hotter than before. Then she moved forward again. She was going to get out and at least to a classroom where the five people in the room couldn't see her; that was all she needed. But with the extra step she found herself falling, the world fading around her. She heard a few surprised shouts before she hit the floor, but then everything was gone.


	9. Chapter Nine

She woke up to the sound of intense arguing. Odessa wasn't entirely sure why anyone would be arguing over her bed. Some part of her thought she might be dead and in some form of Hell. But she quickly became aware of the feeling of her heart beating, so she knew she wasn't dead. Death would be better than being stuck with a bunch of fighting people.

"I will curse you if you ever come near her again. What did you do, you little snake? Spike her drink? Poison her waffles?" She recognized Sirius's voice. She heard some straining from the area his voice came in, and then he shouted, " _Let go of me, damnit, I'm going to murder him_!"

"Mr. Black that's quite enough!" That was Madam Pomfrey; she sounded almost as furious as Sirius did. "Ms. Perkins isn't dead, and she'll be waking up any moment. Calm down."

"Hear that? She's going to be fine," Odessa could see the sneer on her old friend's face. She couldn't imagine what Severus would be doing in the hospital wing-she assumed that's where she was-but she knew that he was thoroughly pissing Sirius off. "I have every right to be here. She likes me far more than she likes you. I can't even see her truly liking you, Black. She has taste."

"And it moved away from evil-"

"Stop it, both of you," That was Lily Evans. Another confusing thing for her; she and Lily had never really hated each other but they'd never been close. "This isn't the thing to do in the hospital. You're both children, and it needs to stop."

"Lily-"

"No. I don't know why you're even here. You cut her out of your life, the one genuine person you had left after what you did. You're here to cause problems, and that's it. You need to go."

"If you only knew what was wrong you'd-"

"I do know what's wrong," Lily said angrily. "Sirius can't keep a secret; he told James, who told Peter and Remus, and Remus told me on patrol one night. I know exactly what's wrong. And I know that you're not going to be any help."

She heard muttering, and Sirius's heavy breathing, and she wished she could fully understand what was going on. That would require clueing everyone into the fact that she was awake though, and she really didn't feel like fighting with any of them. She couldn't understand why any of them were there; it just made no sense.

After a few more minutes of quiet, bitter remarks she knew it was time to open her eyes. She was a bit scared they wouldn't open, like the night before, but she knew she had to try. And, thankfully, her eyes opened slowly. She had to blink a few times before they'd open all the way, and the room was slightly blurry because she wasn't wearing her new glasses, but it was going to be okay. She could at least kick everyone out now and get some peace and quiet. "Oh good," Severus said, seeing that she was awake. Lily handed her the glasses, and Odessa slipped them on so she could see everyone clearly. "Now if you'd please kick the dog out, that would be great. In fact kick them all out; you've really gone downhill since getting sick."

Odessa sat up a bit, not really feeling as sick anymore. She looked away from Severus; he was to her left, and on her right were the five Gryffindors she'd seen before passing out. Sirius was being physically restrained by James Potter and Remus Lupin; Peter Pettigrew was standing in front of them, probably just in case Sirius got free and went to tackle Severus. Madam Pomfrey was a few beds away, checking on a young boy who appeared to have a cold and who was glancing at them repeatedly, looking nervous. "Get out, Severus. We're not friends, remember? Why did you even come here?"

"You needed to know that you're not safe with these people. They're mon-"

"At least we didn't give poison to a dying girl." Sirius spit out, and Remus quickly clapped a hand over his mouth.

Everyone else stared at Severus, who looked aloof. "I didn't give her anything."

There were muffled protests from Sirius, and Remus looked disgusted because apparently Sirius was spitting on his hand. But he didn't remove it, and everyone else looked uneasy but not quite sure who to believe. Odessa just shook her head slightly, furious, and wishing she could tell Sirius to stop spilling every secret she had. "Go. Severus, I want you to leave. I don't want you here," Odessa said, shaking her head at him. Then she turned to look at Sirius, who focused on her quite quickly. "You; I want you gone too. I don't need this right now; I don't need someone who can't keep a secret. So go. And...And just stop...Stop coming around. Thank you for helping me last night and today, but that's where we need to stop talking. All of you go; just...just go."

"Perkins-" Sirius started to argue, but Lily shook her head.

"You all heard her," she said. "Out. We're all getting out, and we're giving her some much deserved space. We'll talk about getting to come back later," She started pushing them all toward the door. For the first time in her life, Odessa was incredibly grateful for the fact that Lily Evans existed. "Oh," Lily said before she left the area. "Leila and Theresa are waiting just outside the doors; can I let them in?"

Odessa nodded, because they were the only people she really wanted to see at the moment. They wouldn't push her too much, and they definitely wouldn't share her secrets. She would have to tell Theresa the truth though. Theresa was smart enough to know now that Odessa was sick. She would demand an explanation and Odessa would cave and tell her, and then Theresa would be upset. There wasn't a way to win in this scenario.

Her fellow Ravenclaws came into the room a few moments after Lily left. Odessa sat up a bit further so she won't appear as weak. "Hey," she said, feeling pathetic. "Sorry, I didn't get back when I wanted to."

They didn't laugh; they didn't even look mildly amused. "Are you okay?" Leila asked softly.

Odessa nodded slightly. "It's just a part of my current existence. It's...Theresa, there's something I need to tell you," This was something she really didn't want to do. She was sick and it would break Theresa's heart, and that would break her own. "Come here, Terry."

Theresa came and sat down on the bed next to her, and Odessa managed to give her a small smile. "I got some not-so-great news over the summer." Odessa said.

"Are you going to move?"

"No, I'm not moving. It's something else. I...I haven't been quite sure how to tell you…"

The next ten minutes of her life were the hardest ten minutes she'd ever experienced. Theresa was upset as soon as Odessa said that she was sick. She started crying, and Odessa had trouble containing her emotions at that point in time. Odessa promised that she'd stick around as long as she could, but that just made Theresa cry more. So in the end Odessa just held her, trying to give her some form of comfort. She held her and rubbed circled into her back and promised her that Leila would do an excellent job of taking care of her. At that point in time Leila came over and hugged Theresa too. They stayed like that for a long time, letting the new sink in and letting themselves adjust to the idea. Theresa wasn't angry, thankfully, though she was more upset than Odessa had thought she'd be. Then again, they thought of each other as family, so she wasn't incredibly surprised. If she found out that Theresa was dying, she'd probably be just as upset.

"I'll be okay for now," Odessa said eventually. "I just have some troubles, but it will be alright for now."

She wasn't entirely sure how true that was, because she didn't know what would cause her to pass out. She hated that it had even happened, especially in front of a group she barely knew. "I think I heard Madam Pomfrey tell Sirius Black you'd caught a stomach bug, and that it was hitting you much harder than it normally would because your immune system is damaged." Leila said,

"That makes sense," Odessa said with a sigh. "Add another thing to my list of problems; that's just how it's going to be now."

"We'll make sure you have plenty of tomato soup," Theresa said with a small smile. "You always used to make me tomato soup when I got sick. You can bathe in it if you want to; we'll get you as much as you need."

Odessa laughed and hugged her tightly. "You're the best. I'm looking forward to bowls upon bowls of that soup. I don't think I'll bathe in it, but thanks for the offer."

Theresa just grinned at her, and Leila was smiling too, and Odessa felt content. She wasn't going to be around too much longer but right now she was with her friends, and they knew what was going to happen, and they were going to stick with her until the bitter end. She loved them for that. There were probably a lot of people that would have just abandoned her, and she couldn't really blame them because she wouldn't want to sit by a friend and watch them die either. Leila and Theresa were better people than she was, and she couldn't ever forget that. She needed to treat them as best as she could to make sure she didn't lose two of the people who mattered to her the most.

They made it into easy conversation after that. Odessa wasn't sure if she was supposed to leave or not, because Madam Pomfrey hadn't been back to her. She didn't really feel like she could leave; she was so tired that she thought she might fall asleep on the walk up to their dormitory. She wasn't quite sure why she was so tired, though she suspected it was because she was sick again. Odessa definitely didn't want to tell her friends about how she was feeling. They'd feel bad and give her space, and she didn't want to be away from them at the moment. Because when she was away from them she'd have to process everything that had happened in the hospital wing before they'd walked in, and that would just make her angry.

Madam Pomfrey came back half an hour later with a slight smile. "It seems they know the truth now," she said. Odessa knew she was glad that she'd finally told her friends. "We've got most of the stomach bug you caught taken care of, but you'll be tired and a bit nauseous for a few days. You need to work really hard to not get sick; for you, it could be a disaster."

Odessa nodded slightly. "Okay. I'll do my best. I'm not sure how I got sick in the first place this time, but I'll be more careful. Am I free to go?"

"You're free," Madam Pomfrey said, helping her up and handing her a few potions. "These might help a bit; they're meant to strengthen immune systems. Go ahead and drink them now and then come back every week for more," Odessa sighed and swallowed the vile tasting potions. One of these days she was just going to get used to the taste, and that was pretty depressing. "Oh, and Ms. Perkins? Just a warning: Sirius Black has stationed himself outside the door and refuses to leave. Professor McGonagall is trying to drag him away, but he won't even listen to her. You may want to walk quickly if you're trying to avoid him."

Odessa blinked, surprised. Sirius had waited outside for her? Why would he do that? She'd very clearly said that she didn't want to be around him anymore. He was, though, terrible at listening to people. "Okay. Thank you."

Madam Pomfrey left them alone again, and the three Ravenclaws headed out of the hospital wing together. Sitting across from the entrance they saw Sirius Black, with Professor McGonagall standing in front of him, her arms folded across her chest and a frustrated look on her face. "You're being ridiculous, Black. Let's go; to my office. You are not getting away with physically attacking another student."

Odessa stopped for a moment and stared. He'd attacked someone? Who had he attacked? And why? "Odessa," she heard him say. They made eye contact and she felt herself turning slightly pink. "Odessa-"

He stood up and tried to come toward her but she took a step back. "I told you to leave. I told you we weren't friends. Just go accept your punishment, Black, and leave me alone."

She walked away from him with her head held high. As soon as they turned around the corner though, Odessa stopped to lean against the wall and put her head in her hands. She'd seen his face; the confusion, the hurt, the anger… She'd done that to him, and she hated herself for it. But he'd told everyone her secrets; all of her secrets. About the disease and the deal with Severus. She couldn't have someone around her that she couldn't really trust. She liked Sirius, she really did. He made her smile and laugh, and she felt light when she was around him. But that didn't make what he'd done any better. Still, she hated that she'd hurt him. She didn't really like hurting anyone, and it was harder when the person had been nice to her.

"Hey, it's alright," Leila said, rubbing her back gently. "Odessa, you did the right thing for the time being. If you're not up to talking with him then you don't need to talk with him. You're allowed your space; you're allowed to do what will help you feel better. You look tired; why don't we just get you up to the dormitory for some sleep, and then Theresa and I can play a card game and wait for you to wake up. Does that sound alright?"

"It sounds perfect," Odessa said while straightening up. "Thank you."

She slept for a little over over two hours once she got into her dormitory. It was a welcome sleep; she didn't dream, she didn't fall asleep thinking about how angry she was, and she didn't have to worry about anyone else. After waking up she stayed in bed for another hour, because moving around didn't sound very fun.

In that hour she decided to barricade herself in the dormitory for the rest of the weekend. She couldn't really handle seeing anyone else but Theresa and Leila, at least not for the next day and a half. They would bring her food for meals and she could shower still, and avoid the rest of the population at Hogwarts. It seemed like a perfect plan to her, and when she proposed it to her friends they were supportive. Once again she felt incredibly grateful for them.

The weekend was spent reading and occasionally playing Wizarding Chess with Theresa, who was a huge fan of the game and had been sent her own set. Odessa was terrible at it, but it made Theresa happy to play and Leila was happy to watch, so she played gladly. They played some card games Odessa had learned too, because Theresa loved playing those as well and Odessa would do anything to make her happy. Sometimes she caught the young girl looking at her sadly, and it broke her heart. She hadn't meant to hurt Theresa; she hadn't meant to get sick in the first place. But here she was, and what could she do other than play Theresa's favorite games with her? She didn't have many options.

Sunday night was peaceful. She finished up what little work she had left for classes, because she didn't want to fall behind. She wanted to have her best year yet in terms of school, and that meant staying up to date with assignments and getting good marks in class. She could at least die proudly then. She could die knowing that she was one of the top students at Hogwarts, and that was a fairly large accomplishment, with the size of their class. It would make her friends proud too, because they would know that she hadn't just given up and let her disease consume her. It might still, in other ways, but not when it came to school. She was determined not to let it take school away from her.

Monday morning, however, meant she had to return to regular life at the castle. She couldn't hide from the people she was too afraid to talk to anymore, because then she would have to skip at least half of her classes and that wasn't an option. So she got up and ready for the day, briefly glancing in the mirror to make sure she looked alright. She sighed when she saw herself. Pale skin, fragile features… She looked like she could break at any moment. She looked sick; more so now than she'd thought before. And her eyes looked sad. They were fading to a paler color, she could tell, but they also just looked sad. She sighed heavily before heading down to the great hall for an early breakfast. She needed to get done with classes. She hadn't ached too much upon waking today, and that meant she might be able to dance a bit in an empty classroom. First, though, she had to deal with the other students and the day ahead of her. More specifically, she had to deal with Severus Snape as he made a beeline toward her, his nose slightly swollen and bruised.


	10. Chapter Ten

"What do you want?" Odessa asked immediately, glaring at Severus as he approached her. He just scowled at her and grabbed her arm, pulling her out of the great hall. Leila and Theresa immediately started to protest, but Odessa shook her head at them. Severus had always had a flare for the dramatic, and this was just an example of that. He wouldn't hurt her; he'd get in trouble for that and Severus hated getting in trouble.

As soon as they were in a quiet space outside the great hall, he turned her to face him and nearly shouted at her. " _Look what your guard dog did to me_!"

"My what? Are you daft? I don't even like dogs that much." Odessa said, rolling her eyes at him and folding her arms across her chest. He was being ridiculous, as per usual, and she was sick of it. She just wanted to have a nice, quiet breakfast, and instead she was getting Severus Snape yelling in her face about dogs.

" _Black_! Do you not see what he did to me? That _flea ridden mutt_ -"

"Stop insulting him," Odessa said with a long sigh. "He doesn't deserve to be insulted by you."

"You threw him out," Severus spat at her. "What do you care if I insult him?"

"Because I still like him. I don't hate him just because I've decided not to be friendly with him. Merlin, Severus, you never understood that. You don't have to go around hating the entire world just because you don't speak to them," Odessa said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back to my friends. I'm actually hungry for once and talking to you is making me lose my appetite."

She turned to walk away and he grabbed her arm again. "He's told all of his friends about the deal we made. You _swore_ that no one would find out, and now nearly all of the Gryffindors know. What's going to happen when you drop dead? They'll blame me and I'll be sent to Azkaban for trying to help you."

"I'll deny it, Severus. I'll write a note or something and then you won't be blamed. Can I go now?"

"Just stay away from Black," he muttered, turning away from her. "He's no good."

"You stay away from him too," Odessa replied, narrowing her eyes slightly. "I know you. You'll try and get revenge on him. And I'm not having any of it, alright? Just...Pretend he doesn't exist."

He didn't reply; he stalked off and got as far from her as possible as quickly as possible. Odessa shook her head and sighed before returning to the great hall to sit down with her friends. She'd had a bit of toast on her plate but now wasn't feeling hungry for it. She'd go without, because her other option was getting sick and throwing up on some poor bloke's shoes again, and Odessa didn't intend to let that happen.

Theresa and Leila were full of questions when she came back. Odessa answered them all dutifully but her head started to ache at all of the talking. It was hardly eight in the morning and she already wanted to go back to bed for the day. Perhaps, she thought, going back to the real world wasn't really what she'd needed that day. Maybe she should have pretended like the stomach bug had come back a bit; then she could have spent her day resting in the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey would have irritated her more likely than not, but at least she would have been in a peaceful place.

She purposefully avoided looking toward the Gryffindor table the entire time. Sirius was there, she knew, and probably furious with her for deciding they shouldn't speak anymore. He wouldn't want anything to do with her, and that was what she'd asked for but not necessarily what she wanted. Because, as her brain kept reminding her, he made her happy. It was irritating sometimes and she didn't always like him, but he did make her happy.

After breakfast was Herbology, a fairly safe class. No one would talk to her there because they'd all be so focused on their plants and wouldn't want to risk getting bit or something. She had that class with Leila as well, and Leila would make sure no one could get to her. After Herbology though they split apart, and Odesa was on her own. She would be in a room full of Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, and she knew for a fact that Sirius and all of his friends shared the class with her. They would sit together though, like always, because they were best friends and they didn't let things come between them. That class would be moderately safe; she expected, for some reason, for some paper to be thrown at her head but she wasn't quite sure why that would be.

Odessa sat down in her Muggle Studies classroom, even more tired than she'd been that morning. She picked a seat near the front of the room, because she knew the Gryffindor boys wouldn't be caught dead up there, and placed her bag on the chair next to her with the hope that no one would move the bag and try to sit there. She couldn't be sure if that would really work or not, but it was well worth a shot. Near the start of class though, someone moved her bag off the chair and gently set it on the ground next to her feet. "Mind if I sit here?"

She sighed heavily and turned her head to look at Remus Lupin. "I thought my scent disgusted you."

"It does," he said, sending her a small, slightly mischievous smile. "But if I don't take this seat then Sirius will, and there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Me? You want to talk to _me_ about something?" Odessa asked, shocked. She hadn't had many conversations with Remus Lupin throughout her years at Hogwarts, and she didn't know why he would want to start talking to her now.

"Well yes, that's why I sat down by you," he said. "It's not about Sirius, if that's what you're worried about. I think you're right to take a break from him. He doesn't always use his head and in your situation, that can be fairly dangerous. Rather, I was hoping to talk to you about charms. You're quite gifted in it, if you haven't noticed. Right at the top of our class. And there is a joint project coming up. The professor said we could work with anyone from any class. I know you haven't had charms yet, but I wanted to snatch you up before anyone else did. So...What do you say? Partners?" He stuck out his hand and Odessa shook it, a bit surprised.

"Wouldn't you rather be partners with one of your friends?"

"Not really, no," Remus said. "Keep this between us, alright? I have a disease too; not like yours. I won't die anytime soon. But every time I get sick they completely freak out and won't let me do anything. It's...Annoying, to say the least. I thought that as two sick kids we could admit when we needed a break, and we'd still be held accountable for our share of the work."

Odessa nodded slowly, shocked once again. She should have known that Remus Lupin was sick. As soon as he said it she could see it on his face. His eyes looked as sad as her own. His face was scarred, which she assumed was from an accident, but it had a sunken and pale quality to it, just not quite as advanced as her own. "Okay. I...I think that would be nice, actually. It will be a pleasure to work with you, Remus Lupin."

"Likewise, Odessa P-" He gasped slightly and clutched the back of his head. Odessa saw a few wads of parchment lying on the floor behind him, and she turned her head to see Sirius gesturing to himself. Remus sighed slightly. "I'm supposed to tell you that Sirius is sorry," he said, pausing to turn and look at his friend once again. Odessa glanced back too and saw Sirius motioning with his hands. For a moment Remus just stared at him, and then shook his head and loudly shouted across the room, "No way, Padfoot, you tell her that yourself! I'm not saying that!"

"What does he want you to say?" Odessa asked, somewhat amused by the situation. She wished they wouldn't draw so much attention to themselves, but even she could admit that it was somewhat entertaining.

"I'm not saying it. He can come over here himself if he wants it said. You hear that Sirius?" Remus said, suddenly getting louder. "You can come over here and tell her yourself!"

"For Merlin's sake…" Odessa muttered, covering her face with her hands. She wasn't a fan of the situation anymore; Sirius was standing up to come over and Odessa had no desire to talk to him at the moment.

But just before he reached her their professor came in the room and called for everyone to take their seats. Odessa was relieved; she could get out of talking to Sirius now; he was in the middle of the classroom and it wasn't like he could talk to her from there without the professor knowing. Odessa pulled out a book to keep notes and got her quill ready, but for a while there was nothing to take notes over. Her eyes felt heavy and the longer the professor talked about things that she didn't need to take note of, the more tired she got.

The next thing she knew, someone was shaking her shoulder gently. "Odessa," Remus said softly. "Class is over."

"What?" she asked groggily. "What...What do you mean?"

"Class is over," Remus said again. "You slept through it."

"You didn't wake me?"

"You looked tired."

Odessa rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. "Still, you could have woken me up. I can sleep later; I needed to take notes, and I needed-"

"It's okay," Remus said with a grin. "I copied mine for you. I've got to head to my next class though so I'll have to see you later."

He handed her the notes and took off with a small shake of his head. Odessa started to pack up her things and glanced at the notes to see something scribbled in the margins. 'Perkins, meet me in the library after classes today. I need to talk to you.'

She knew that it wasn't Remus's handwriting, because the rest of the notes were his and the writing didn't match up. There was no good reason James Potter or Peter Pettigrew would want to talk to her, and that meant it was Sirius. He was the one summoning her to the library. And she had absolutely no intention of going. She wasn't ready to talk to him yet, and she didn't really want to talk to him anyway. He told everyone her secrets and that wasn't what she really needed. Especially not now. So after classes she would find a classroom. She would find one and she would sit in it and listen to her music, and think about how she would dance. It would be fine. It would work just fine for her, at least. Sirius wouldn't really be happy with her, but Odessa didn't care. She was going to do things for herself now, at least. The rest of the day was going to be hers.

Still, she put the notes in her bag because she didn't want to completely miss out on what the lesson had been that day. It was important that she try at school, she'd been thinking about it frequently over the weekend. It was probably a good idea to not sleep in class then. She wasn't sure what had happened. One minute she'd been blinking, trying to get her eyes to open a bit more, and the next moment she'd passed out on her book. Odessa had no idea how the professor hadn't noticed; a girl was sleeping in the front of their class and they hadn't seemed to notice or care. She had a feeling that Sirius had something to do with that, but she wasn't too sure what he would have done. He did seem like he was trying to get on her good side once again, and even if she wasn't thrilled with him she was grateful for whatever he'd done to keep her out of trouble.

For the most part her day was boring. She went to class and managed to stay awake in all of them. She ate lunch with Theresa and Leila and they talked and laughed, but her heart wasn't in it anymore. She just wanted to sit by herself in the classroom, like she'd planned. It was something she hadn't done in a while, and it was something she wanted to do again.

When the end of the day finally came, Odessa was relieved. She felt oddly exhausted, considering she hadn't done much of anything so far. She probably needed some medicine or something, but she didn't want to go down to the hospital wing again. She had seen enough of Madam Pomfrey to last her a lifetime. The healer was nice and kind, Odessa knew that, but that didn't mean she wanted to see her every day. So when it came time she walked into a classroom she knew would be empty. Every part of her wanted to dance, but she knew that would just cause problems. She would wake up in excruciating pain the next morning or she would fall and break her ankle or something ridiculous like that.

Odessa sat in the middle of the room, her legs crossed and her neck bent up so she could stare at the ceiling. Her eyes were closed, and in her mind she could see the different steps she would need to take in order to perform one of her favorite routines. She'd known it for a few years and had performed it on a few different occasions. It was something with heart; the music spoke to her and when she moved to it, she was sure she knew exactly what it wanted to say.

Soon enough she couldn't resist anymore. She stood up and started moving, slowly to try and keep herself from hurting too much. Odessa felt graceful, at least for a little while. She felt like she wasn't going to die in a couple of months. She felt like she could breathe again, in a good way. It was amazing to dance like this; it was amazing to dance again without a care in the world. Odessa hadn't danced in at least a few days, and probably longer than that. She'd been avoiding it because of the aches and pains. But now she didn't have to avoid it. Now she could-

There was a click. She'd been slightly frozen with her arm in the air and her head tilted, eyes closed. She was supposed to freeze in that moment; it was always there. The click, however, wasn't. Odessa opened her eyes and, her mind filled with dread, looked to the doorway. There stood Sirius Black, his stupid camera in hand. He lowered it slightly and Odessa quickly left the position she was in to stare at him. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" she asked, her voice quiet with fury.

"I take pictures," he responded, a slightly pink tint to his cheeks. "I, uh...You didn't come to the library so I've been checking all around for you. I cracked the door open and saw you dancing. You're...you're really good, Perkins."

"Thanks, I guess. You're going to tear up that picture now, right?"

"Oh not a chance. I haven't seen you look this calm the entire year. I thought it would be a good idea to take it and keep it, because you mean...something to me, and I want to remember you when you're calm and happy."

"Oh please; don't lie to me. I obviously don't mean anything to you. You went around telling your friends all of my secrets. You _punched_ Severus in the nose. If I mean anything to you, it's as someone whose life is just a fun story you can tell." Odessa said, glaring at him. She grabbed her bag to walk away, because she couldn't handle being with him at the moment. He infuriated her, and she knew that he would continue to do so no matter what she said to him.

"Perkins that's not true," he said, blocking her exit. "Perkins, you know that's not true. I...I got mad and punched Snape, I'll admit that. Because I thought you'd taken his poison and then he was goading me on and saying that I'd pushed you to it and-anyway, that was probably wrong and I won't do it again, at least not for a while. I swear. As for...I tell my friends everything. Remus already knew you were sick, and it's just a matter of time before people figure it out. I...I thought...I don't know. I like you, Odessa, believe it or not, and just when we could be friends, you're sick and dying. I needed to process."

"You could have talked to me," Odessa said, her tone a little softer than it had been before. "I should have never told you in the first place. I...I shouldn't have told anyone. I knew it would hurt them."

"I can't very well process with you because then you'd feel guilty. Look, I'm glad I know and I'm glad I can try to help you-if you stop avoiding me like I'm the plague. But...My friends know everything about me, about who else I hang around. And I thought they deserved to know this too. The end of the year, when you're gone? I get the feeling I'm going to be in a rotten mood and they deserve to know why and have some warning."

Odessa sighed and nodded slightly. She could understand that, even if she didn't want to. "I don't plan on taking that potion that Severus made me any time soon," she said quietly. "So you don't have to worry about that right now. Give me a couple of months at least."

He nodded and his characteristic cocky grin came back on to his face. "Give me a couple of months and you won't even want to take it at all. Are we good then?" He held out his hand and Odessa nodded and shook it. "Wonderful. I've got to take a look at that list you made then."

"Excuse me?"

"Well we've got to work on it. Besides, then I can understand you more. I'll know what makes you happy."

"And how am I supposed to learn about you?"

"Oh I'm a mystery," he said with a smirk. "You can't understand me."

"You're an idiot, that's what I think," Odessa muttered, but she was grinning. "I know what we can do this afternoon."

"Yeah? Lay it on me, Perkins."

"Can you stop calling me Perkins? You know my name and I know you're capable of using it."

"Habit, sorry. Lay it on me, _Odessa_."

He drew her name out which turned her cheek pink for some odd reason. "We can break a school rule."

"What? That's it?"

"I've never done it before," Odessa said sheepishly. "I just want to give it a shot. Be a troublemaker for once in my life. I have detention on this list too. I want to live fully. Be a rebel."

He stared at her for a moment and then started laughing. Odessa watched with red cheeks as he bent over and laughed more than she'd ever heard him laugh before. Eventually he stood back up and wiped his eyes, still chuckling softly. "You crack me up," he said, shaking his head and grinning. "You came to the right person though. Trouble is my middle name," Odessa rolled her eyes at that, and he grinend. "Yeah, that was a lie. It's Orion. After my father."

His face darkened and Odessa knew it was a touchy subject. "So, what do you think we should do?" she asked. "This is more of your department, not mine."

"You'll have to wait and see. Meet me at the stairs to the astronomy tower right before curfew." Sirius said.

"That's it?" she asked, surprised.

"That's it. You've have a fantastic time, I promise. I've got to go get some things now though; I'll see you tonight."

Odessa nodded and he turned to leave, thought better of it, and then turned to face her once again. He came closer, so he was right up against her, and smiled slightly. She couldn't help but look a little afraid; she had no idea what he was going standing that close to her. He was making her nervous. "Sirius? What's on your mind?"

"I'm just glad you're talking to me. It was only the weekend without you, and most of today, but we're living on borrowed time and I don't want it to run out with you hating me." He grinned at her and stooped down to brush his lips against her cheek. He backed away quickly, smiling at her, before hurrying out of the door.

Odessa was frozen to her spot for a few moments. " _Bloody hell_ ," she whispered, reaching up to touch her cheek. " _What have I gotten myself into_?" No one had ever kissed her in any way before. And Sirius had just done it like it was nothing; like it wasn't going to mean anything. It must, she thought, be something he did to all of his female friends, otherwise he wouldn't have done it to her. That thought didn't stop her heart from beating madly inside her chest. She felt flushed and confused, and sad because she knew she couldn't let him do that ever again. If he did, she'd start to see him as less of a friend and more as something she definitely couldn't have.


	11. Chapter Eleven

That evening Odessa found herself walking toward the stairs to the astronomy tower. She was going to tell him in the nicest way possible to never pull a stunt like that kiss on the cheek again. She'd talked to Leila about it, and Leila agreed the best thing to do was to confront him and make sure he never did it again. She'd had a slightly different idea at first; when Odessa had first mentioned what happened, Leila was convinced that she needed to walk up to Sirius and just kiss him. Odessa told her she was being ridiculous. Sirius Black wouldn't have any romantic interest in her, and especially not now that he knew she was dying. She had to work up the courage to actually tell him not to do it again, so it would be a while. She hoped she would be able to do it by the end of whatever plans he had for that night.

She reached the stairs with a few minutes to spare, but Sirius wasn't there. Odessa frowned but decided to just take a seat on the steps. He would be along soon; he always came. He always surprised her because he came. So she waited, making bubbles with her wand while looking around the corridor to see where he was coming from.

Time passed slowly. Odessa checked her watch every now and then, and the curfew came and passed with no sign of Sirius Black. Odessa was frustrated then; he'd told her to come and now he couldn't even bother to show up. After twenty minutes she stood up, arms folded across her chest. She started to head back to her dormitory, furious that she'd let herself believe in him once again. Nothing good would come from believing in Sirius Black. Nothing good would-

There was a crash that sounded from the opposite direction. The direction that Sirius would have come from if he'd been late. Odessa found herself running then, terrified that something bad would have happened to him. There were some people who she knew hated Sirius and his friends; they'd gotten into multiple fights, especially in the last few years. Maybe they'd gotten word that he was going to be up here and decided to try and attack him when he didn't have his friends around him? It would be the perfect time to strike.

Odessa rounded a corner, out of breath, and saw a group of Slytherin boys grouped around a doorway. They hadn't noticed her yet; they were laughing about how they'd trapped someone in a room. A moment later she heard Sirius's voice scream, "You bastards! Let me out of here!"

There was another loud crash; she assumed he was throwing things at the door to try and break it open. Oddly enough her heart swelled and she felt relieved. Sirius hadn't stood her up; he'd gotten into a bit of a sticky situation. He was still trying to get to her because he cared about being her friend just like she cared about being his. "No, but we'll go get your little friend and show her a good time in your place; how's that sound?"

" _I swear if you lay a finger on her_ -"

"You'll what, throw another chair at the door. You're stuck in there until we let you out. And why would we do that if you're going to hurt us?" The Slytherin that was speaking turned to one of the others and said, "They were going to the astronomy tower. Go get Perkins. I think they need a bit of a reunion before everything happens."

Odessa panicked almost immediately. She had no idea what the Slytherins would want with her. It wasn't like she had a habit of drawing attention to herself. She may have hung around Severus for a few years, but she never insulted them or did anything they thought was particularly offensive. She pressed herself against the wall, wishing that somehow they wouldn't notice her there. It was a plan doomed to fail. As soon as they started walking in her direction they saw her, and laughed. "Certainly the dumbest Ravenclaw of them all," one said with a laugh. Odessa recognized him as Wilkes, a boy Severus frequently hung out with. "Come on."

Before she could run he grabbed her arm and started to drag her toward the group. "Let me go!" Odessa said, trying to pull her arm out of his grasp. She needed to go get help; they'd locked Sirius in a room and were dragging her off to do God knows what. She was afraid. Odessa hadn't liked to think of evil at her school, but she knew that Severus and his friends weren't exactly the best people in Hogwarts. She knew that, if they wanted, they could do bad things. Severus brewed poisons and created spells that tore people apart; his friends probably weren't that different.

"Say hello, Black," Wilkes said, leaning close to the door. "Might be the last time you see your little girlfriend alive again."

Odessa couldn't wrap her mind around everything that was happening. They were threatening her life and hurting Sirius. She had planned on dying that year, but not because she was murdered by a bunch of Slytherins. "She's not there," Sirius said, his voice confident and firm. "She would have left the astronomy by curfew because I didn't show up. She's brilliant."

"Say hello, Perkins," Wilkes said, pushing her against the door. Odessa groaned as she hit the wood; he was a little more forceful than necessary. It wasn't like she had the most strength to begin with that year.

"Sirius?" she said softly.

She heard silence from his side of the door, and then a lot of loud swearing and more pounding against the door. "You leave her be! She hasn't done a damn thing to any of you. Let her go now-"

"You're not in position to make demands," This time it was Avery who spoke. "Let's take her up to the astronomy tower and see what you had planned for her."

"We were just going to watch the stars." Odessa lied easily. She still didn't know why Sirius had made her come to the astronomy tower in the first place. But maybe they wouldn't take her up there if they thought it was some mundane thing.

"Oh please," Wilkes said. "Black takes girls up there all the time. Did you really think you were special, Perkins? It's just his favorite spot to hook up and then dump the lady. We'll just have to do the hooking-"

"Oi!"

Someone's voice echoed down the corridor. It came from the opposite direction she'd come from. " _Thank Merlin_." Sirius said. Odessa had enough time to glance back to see that Sirius's friends had all shown up at the end of the corridor before Wilkes yanked her again and took off running. Almost all of them came with her; three stayed behind to delay James, Remus, and Peter.

Her brain shut off as she was dragged away from the confrontation and up to the astronomy tower. It might have been from the panic or maybe the fear; she wasn't sure, but she knew that she just stopped. Her legs moved because if they didn't she would fall on her face. But she stopped fighting. She was frozen and she didn't know how to thaw and she was terrified but she didn't know how to solve that particular problem. Soon enough they were on top of the tower. Odessa saw flower, lilacs, and a jug of butterbeer. There was also a telescope, which she assumed would be used to view stars, and a blanket. It was cold outside, so she could understand why that was there.

"Why are you doing this?" she mumbled. Someone was yanking at her robes. Someone else had a fistful of her hair and was using it to drag her around the tower. They didn't answer her; they didn't seem willing to say a word to her. "Stop-Please stop-"

She went blank again. She could feel the boys pushing her around and trying to get her to go somewhere. She felt cold and numb and she just wanted to be done with the evening. She didn't understand what was happening. Odessa could tell they were bringing her closer to the edge of the tower, and some part of her prayed they would just push her off and leave it at that. It was better than what the alternative seemed to be. They'd unbuttoned her sweater and the school shirt underneath it.

Odessa couldn't understand why this was happening to her. She hadn't done anything wrong. She didn't understand how the boys could be so cruel. She didn't understand. And she didn't understand how no one had heard all of the shouting going on and come to check on the situation. This wasn't supposed to happen; why did this have to happen to her? She'd just wanted to feel rebellious once in her life and now…now this was happening.

She realized how close she was to the edge of the tower when the door burst open. In that moment her mind came back to her and she found herself whipping around to see the four Gryffindor boys, wands raised, and outnumbering the boys that had come with her. "Drop the wands or she goes over!" Wilkes said, shoving her closer to the edge. The tips of her toes were hanging over the side; any further and she'd lose her balance and fall for sure.

"You really want to get expelled for murder?" James Potter asked, his eyes narrowed. "Attempted murder is bad enough but you'll go to Azkaban. You still might; I'd love to see you rot in prison for this."

"Wands down!" Wilkes shouted, once again shoving Odessa forward. She screamed then; the only thing keep her from falling was Wilkes's hand on the back of her sweater, which she could easily fall out of at any point in time.

"What did you do to her?" The raw fury in Sirius's voice sent chills down her spine. "She's not...She's…" He seemed unable to find the words the right words to express his thoughts.

Odessa felt her sweater slip slightly just as someone else entered the tower. "What is going on here?" It was another voice full of cold fury. "In all my years-Bring Ms. Perkins in right this instant!"

"Professor McGonagall they trapped Sirius in a room and-" Peter Pettigrew started to say but she held up a hand to silence him.

"Mr. Wilkes do it now or face much greater consequences than you already are."

He scowled and hesitated for a moment before shoving her forward. She fell to the floor and almost immediately felt hands grabbing her. She tried to swat them away, terrified, but heard Sirius say, "Stop, stop-It's me. It's me; you're not in danger. It's fine now."

Odessa looked up at him, the fear still clear on her face, and she saw it mirrored back at her. Sirius looked terrified as well. He was just as afraid of the situation as she was. And then she was crying. Sirius helped her to sit up and then pulled her close so she could hide her face in his shoulder. "All of you in my office. _Now,_ " Professor McGonagall said firmly. "This is despicable. I cannot believe...Horace Slughorn and Professor Dumbledore will join us and decide your punishment themselves. If it were in my hands…"

Professor McGonagall gathered up the Slytherins and had them walk in front of her, but not before telling the Gryffindors to report immediately to her office as well. Odessa assumed she was included in that group, but she didn't really want to leave Sirius so even if she wasn't she was going to go. "Here," Sirius said softly, wrapping her in a blanket. She was partially relieved because then she wasn't as exposed anymore. "Come on, we've got to get down there. We're getting them expelled for doing this."

"Why did they?" Odessa asked, wiping her eyes and trying to calm herself down.

"Probably because I punched Snape earlier," Sirius muttered. "They're a spiteful bunch. I'm sorry."

Odessa shrugged slightly and drew the blanket tighter around her shoulders. She still didn't really understand why she had been involved in whatever their plan had been. She and Sirius were close, more than she'd realized, but they weren't exactly best friends. Still, she walked with Sirius's arm around her down to Professor McGonagall's office. Whatever had caused this was going to come out now and she wanted to hear exactly what it was.

They arrived to see the Slytherins grouped on one side. Professor Dumbledore was there with Professor Slughorn. The room was silent, which made Odessa nervous. She hadn't ever been in this situation before and it scared her. She wanted to be brave and act like a Gryffindor for once in her life, but it was a little hard considering she'd almost just died by being pushed off the astronomy tower. "Well, glad we're all here," Professor Dumbledore said, a disappointed look on his face. "Though I must admit the circumstances leave a lot to be desired."

"Where do we start, Dumbledore?" Professor McGonagall asked, her arms folded tightly and a stern look on her face.

"Perhaps with what Mr. Black and Ms. Perkins were doing out of their common rooms at this hour?"

"We were just-" Sirius started to say, but Odessa quickly interrupted him.

"It's my fault, Professor," she said, standing up a little straighter. "Sirius has been helping me come...come to terms with everything, and with trying new things. I'd never broken a school rule before so we were going to look at the stars on the astronomy tower after curfew."

"It was my idea to go up there," Sirius said, frustrated. "I thought it would be relaxing and it was the opposite."

"So what happened, exactly?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"I got to the stairs and he wasn't there. I waited for a while and was about to leave when I heard a crash." Odessa said. She didn't really feel like talking about much after that period.

"Six of them ganged up on me by the stairs," Sirius said, glaring at the Slytherins. "They stuck me in a room and I couldn't get out. They kept saying they were going to do something to Odessa. I didn't think she would still be around so I wasn't too worried until they grabbed her and made her speak. They...They were going to take her up to the astronomy tower and do to her what they _thought_ I wanted to do to her. But they were wrong," he said, turning to face her. "You're my friend and I'm not going to ruin that over one night of, well, what would be fun but...Anyway. James, Peter, and Remus showed up around then-"

"And how did you three find Mr. Black and Ms. Perkins?" Dumbledore asked, looking at the other three Gryffindors curiously.

"Sirius and I have this mirror," James admitted. "We can talk to each other through it. We mostly use it when we're in different places and need to say something. He used it tonight and was talking about being locked up and the general area where he'd been so we went to find him. We didn't realize Perkins was there until we got Sirius out and he told us."

"Interesting," Dumbledore said, nodding slightly. "Continue, then. What happened when you reached the astronomy tower?"

"Well they'd fought the three Slytherins that stayed back to duel them and, of course, our side won," Sirius said. "They got be out and I took off toward the astronomy tower, telling them that Odessa was up there with three more. We got there and she...They'd pushed her up right near the edge, so she would fall if they weren't careful. They'd...They'd started taking off her clothes," The fury was back in his voice, and it made Odessa uncomfortable. She hated seeing Sirius so angry. "We got to them and Wilkes kept ordering us to drop our wands or he'd push her over the edge. He kept doing it too and then the only thing keeping her from falling was his hand clutching her sweater."

"Is that all?" Professor Dumbledore asked. Sirius nodded, so he turned to the Slytherins and said, "I'd like to hear your side now."

"We may have locked Black in a room but only because we thought he would hurt Perkins. We _found_ her half undressed. It was him that did it. She kept saying no and he kept going. Really we were just protecting her from him."

Odessa felt Sirius stiffen next to her. She looked at the Slytherins and started shaking her head. She was about to comment on how that was false when Sirius suddenly left her side and tackled Wilkes to the floor. "You liar! I would never hurt her!"

"That's enough!" McGonagall shouted, stopping Sirius from laying into Wilkes and stopping the rest of them from attacking Sirius. "Opposite sides of the room, now! Black you got your chance to speak, it is their turn. No matter how obviously false that story is."

"Thank you, Professor," Slughorn said, finally entering the conversation. "My Slytherins would never do anything like that to another student. There must be some truth to what they say."

He looked hopefully at Odessa, as if she was going to nod and tell him that he was right. Instead of that she just shook her head. "Why was Ms. Perkins dangling off the astronomy tower when I got there?" Professor McGonagall asked coldly.

"Black and his friends got there and we were worried they would hurt her so we pushed her away to keep her safe. We must have pushed too hard, but I caught her so she wouldn't fall off. That would have been a tragedy." he said, wiping at his lower lip that had started bleeding from Sirius landing one punch on him.

"Ms. Perkins?" Dumbledore asked eventually. "What do you have to say about all of this?"

Every eye in the room turned to look at her, and Odessa glanced down at herself. She would be covered in bruises the next morning from getting shoved around so much. She'd been attacked and would probably be jumpy for a long time. "Sirius…" she said slowly. "Sirius would never hurt me like that. What he said was true; they must have attacked him before he got to the astronomy tower because when I got there, he wasn't around."

A tense silence fell over the room. "What would make you do such a thing?" Slughorn asked, staring at the members of his house.

"Black went around punching Snape," Avery admitted. "He needed to be taught a lesson."

"Why did that have to involve me?" Odessa asked, facing them with only a small bit of fear in her eyes. She was mostly just upset at the position they'd put her in.

Wilkes smirked at her. "Black is attached to you."

"And he's not attached to me, or Remus, or Peter?" James Potter challenged angrily.

"Not in the same way. He's afraid of her dying because she's going to at the end of the year. Best way to scare him is to make it happen sooner."

Odessa's blood ran cold. How could they possibly know that she was dying? "How do you know about that?" she asked quickly. "And why did you have to...to take off my…"

"We overheard you tell someone. And with the way he's been acting, treating you like you're fragile, we could put the pieces together." Avery said.

"And the second part? That was just because we know how he feels about you. That was just another way to get to him," Wilkes added, smirking once again. "Now he'll just be jealous that we got to see and not him."

Odessa felt sick at the words. "Ms. Perkins, Black, Potter, Pettigrew, Lupin...You're all free to go," Dumbledore said after a moment. "I'll trust you not to get in any fights on your way back to your common rooms."

"Are they going to be expelled?" Remus asked, finally speaking up. "They deserve to be expelled."

"They will face harsh punishment," Professor Dumbledore said. There was an immediate protest from the four Gryffindor boys, but he quieted them with a shake of his head. "Need I remind you of Mr. Black's actions involving Mr. Snape? Everyone in this room has made mistakes and learned from it. No one has yet to be expelled. One more action like that though and I can assure you they will be."

"What action with Severus?" Odessa asked softly.

Remus shook his head. "It was a stupid prank. Almost got Snape hurt. James saved him. And Sirius has grown up a lot since then. It's...It was a mistake, and he admit it and apologized."

Odessa looked at Sirius, who looked pale and a bit sick himself. "Okay," she said quietly. "I won't ask again. I'm...I'm going to go. Thank you all for helping me."

She left the room but quickly realized that the four Gryffindors were walking with her instead of in the direction of their own common room. "Just in case." Peter said.

Odessa nodded, somewhat grateful for them walking her back to her common room. At least then nothing bad would happen. This had to be the worst night of her life, and she wanted to forget that it had even happened. As they neared the door to the Ravenclaw common room, Odessa turned to look at the boys. "I should be good from here. Thank you. And...Sirius?" He looked up, a solemn look on his face. "Thank you for saving me. Looks like we'll have to break the rules a different night. We weren't even punished."

He laughed then, his face lightening up slightly. "You're wonderful, Odessa. Absolutely wonderful." He left then, with his friends, but not before making sure she was actually okay. Odessa walked up to her dormitory and immediately got into the shower, trying to wash off the events from that day.


	12. Chapter Twelve

Leila and Theresa sat protectively on either side of her. Odessa didn't mind too much; after all, this was the third week of them sitting like this. Ever since the incident on the astronomy tower, they'd become like body guards. Still friends, but unwilling to leave her alone in any way, unless they were in the safety of the Ravenclaw common room. They were worried, Odessa could understand that. She was a bit worried too; the Slytherins who'd nearly killed her had received detention for the rest of the year as punishment, and they were absolutely furious about it. They might try and get revenge on her, Odessa wouldn't put it past them. They'd done worse for far less.

Still, it was a bit unnerving having them around all the time. Every now and then, when pain flared up or she became unsteady, she wanted to have time to herself to process. Not time with her two friends on either side of her, peppering her with questions about what was wrong and how they could help. It was exactly what she hadn't wanted when she'd found out she was ill, and now it seemed to be all her world consisted of.

Sirius was still allowed around her, but he was keeping his distance. Odessa suspected he felt terribly guilty for what happened, though she thought that was ridiculous. Sirius hadn't done anything wrong, he'd just helped her and made sure she was alright. Odessa couldn't understand what was happening in his head, and she wished she could. She missed her friend. She missed his snarky comments and the eyebrow that he raised when he thought she was being an idiot. He was afraid to come near her, afraid that she was fragile and would be hurt, and it was driving her up the wall.

"You should try to eat a bit of breakfast," Leila said after a few minutes of Odessa sitting quietly at the table. "It might make you feel better."

"I feel fine," Odessa protested, stirring her spoon through the porridge in front of her. It was one of the few things she could eat that wouldn't upset her stomach; it wasn't too sweet, too savory, but bland enough that she could handle it. "I don't know why you keep thinking that I'm not okay."

"Well the dying part kind of makes me think that," Leila said. "And you didn't sleep last night."

"How do you know?"

"I just do. I can see it on your face. Eat something."

"Yes, Mother." Odessa muttered, but not loudly enough that Leila could hear it. She stuck the spoon in her mouth and swallowed before sighing heavily and giving up on breakfast all together. She pushed her glasses up her nose and looked over at the Gryffindor table, where Sirius was laughing loudly with his friends. Odessa frowned at him, frustrated that he could be perfectly normal with his friends yet wouldn't come near her for extended periods of time.

Maybe she'd been right after all. Maybe she was just a charity case to him, and once something bad happened he separated himself because he realized that he couldn't really help her, that he didn't really want to help her. Maybe she'd read too much into their relationship and her thought that they were friends didn't hold true for him. Maybe she'd been stupid and hopeful that, in her last year, someone would choose to care about her.

"I'm going to class." Odessa said, pushing the porridge away and gathering her bag.

"I'll come with," Leila said immediately. "Let me just grab my—"

"I can go alone," Odessa said, hoping that for once her friend would just listen to her. She stood up to leave, sending them each a small smile as if it would help ease their worries. "I'm fine to go alone."

"After what happened? No way," Theresa said. "I'm done too; I can come, and we can all be early."

"No, I really want—"

"No arguing," Leila said, sending her a smile. "We'll all go together."

Odessa stared at them, her mind racing to come up with a reason for them to stay. "You haven't finished eating."

"We're alright," Leila said offhandedly. "We'd rather—"

"I'm not a bloody child," Odessa said, stepping away from the. A few people at the Ravenclaw table turned to look at them, because she'd raised her voice and was attracting attention. "I can walk to the bloody classroom on my own."

"Odessa, we know you're not a child," Leila said softly. "Would you like to talk about this outside?"

"I want you to leave me the hell alone!" she shouted, feeling more eyes turn to her the louder her voice became. "Every damn day you're here, at my side, and I can't get a moment of peace because you're always here and you're always worried, and I just…Just give me space, please, I'm begging you."

"But the Slytherins—" Theresa said, sending a nervous glance at the other house's table.

"To hell with the Slytherins," Odessa said, her voice dropping in volume. "I'm dead eight months anyway, what does it matter if it comes a little sooner?" Her friends stared at her. Theresa's lower lip started to quiver, and Leila wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I'm I just…I need space. I just really need space."

"Fine," Leila said, her voice stiff. "Have your space. We'll see you later." She pulled Theresa back down to the table with her, and Odessa turned to walk out of the great hall, feeling worse than before. She wasn't a fan of the feeling and she wished it would just go away, because she couldn't even enjoy her space. She couldn't enjoy the taste of freedom because she felt guilty for yelling at her friends and wanted nothing more than to go back inside and apologize to them. Then she would look like a fool in front of everyone that listened, and Odessa wasn't really keen on that idea.

She stalked away for a while before finding a bench to plop herself down on. She was tired and frustrated, and she just wanted to have a decent day. She wanted Theresa and Leila to realize how infuriating it was to be surrounded by people all the time. She wanted Sirius to get over himself and tell her if they were friends or if he wanted nothing to do with her anymore. She wanted to go to Madam Pomfrey and have the healer tell her that she was magically cured and could continue living for a long, long time. She didn't want to die, not right now, not when she had people to look after and responsibilities. But those were just wild dreams. Those were just things she could hope for but would never come true. She would die, it was a matter of months, and nothing would change that. Not a single thing.

Odessa stood from the bench and went to her dormitory. She had class in twenty minutes, but she'd make it in time. She needed to get some of the pain potion Severus had given her. She didn't hurt too badly, but she could tell that the aches were going to act up that day. And anyway, the pain potion dulled her mind for a little while. She knew that taking it for that purpose was wrong and she would regret it in the long run, but one day wouldn't kill her any faster than the disease was.

With her pain sufficiently managed and her mind dull, Odessa found herself hurrying toward her classroom. She didn't share a class with Leila or Sirius, which meant there would be no one to talk to her. Not that Sirius would talk to her anyway, but Leila would usually make friendly conversation. Not now that Odessa had snapped at her again, but maybe once Odessa apologized, Leila would forgive her, and they could go back to being themselves.

Her first class of the day felt unusually long. It felt like it would never end, truly, but she wondered if that was because of the potion she'd taken. Maybe it would have worse effects than she'd realized? Maybe time would drag on forever, and she would be stuck thinking for hours and days and weeks. Odessa didn't want to think. Thinking made her sad and she just wanted to be done with it.

After her first class she went to her second, where Leila sat as far away from her as possible. Odessa felt pain form in her temples and she rubbed them, wishing she could be done with her entire day. She just wanted to go to bed and wake up like nothing had happened. She wanted to erase her ridiculous behavior from that morning and tell Theresa and Leila how badly she felt for yelling at them. They were her friends, and she loved them, and she never should have been so rude to them when they were just trying to show her that they cared.

The pain in her head became worse the longer the day went on. She didn't eat lunch, because she couldn't bear to go down to the great hall and sit away from her friends. Odessa was sure they wouldn't want to sit with her after what she'd said to them. She didn't want to go to the kitchens, because she knew that Severus ate down there sometimes, and she didn't want to have a run-in with him. So instead she pushed herself into a crevice in a hallway, hiding and letting the pain consume her thoughts until she heard a ringing sound and realized that it was time to go to class.

She made it to Potions without too much of a problem, though she felt dizzy and sick. Halfway through the lesson her eyelids started to flutter. Odessa felt herself tipping over, catching herself briefly on her cauldron. In the end it just tumbled down on top of her, and she was left stuck on the floor, her eyelids flickering as a potion seeped into her skin, and Professor Slughorn rushed over to see what the problem was.

The next thing she knew, Odessa was in the hospital wing. There was an uncomfortable feeling in her head as well as her abdomen, though she didn't know the reason for either of those feelings. "Wh—"

"Miss Perkins, I'm glad you're awake," Madam Pomfrey said. "It's been almost five hours; I was beginning to seriously worry about you."

"What happened?"

"You've been taking unauthorized potions," Madam Pomfrey said angrily. "Of all the stupid, irresponsible things to do—"

"It was just a bit of pain management," Odessa mumbled defensively. "I didn't mean for anything to happen."

"Nothing will happen, especially not now. I'm confiscating this pain potion; I've already summoned it. If you're in pain, you're to come down here and get an approved potion from me, do you understand?"

Odessa nodded miserably and asked, "What happened to my stomach?"

"You brought a potion down on top of you. It scalded your skin and caused some minor problems, but I managed to heal them well enough. I'm not sure how this will affect your disease, but…"

"It's fine," Odessa muttered. "When can I return to my dormitory? I'd like to get some peaceful sleep. The…The hospital wing just isn't the same."

"I understand," Madam Pomfrey replied. "Miss Perkins, I'm beginning to feel quite worried about you. I believe you're pushing away those close to you and self-medicating, and not handling this situation well at all. Perhaps there is a group you could go to, or someone you could talk to. I know how hard this must be for you, and you shouldn't have to do this alone."

"I'm not alone." Odessa mumbled, ashamed.

"Then where are your friends?"

"They...They don't..."

"If something like this happens again, or I notice you increasingly being on your own, then I will find someone to talk to you, and I will not hesitate to make you attend a session with someone trained to handle these situations. Do you understand me?"

Odessa nodded slightly, horrified. "Fine. Fine, I'll do what I have to do. Just…May I please return to my dormitory? I'd like to just go back to my dormitory."

Madam Pomfrey shook her head. "You'll be staying the night. I need to ensure that your stomach heals properly, or as properly as it can, anyway. You'll be released in the morning, and I don't want to hear a single complaint, okay?"

"You've got to be kidding me," Odessa muttered. "Fine. It's…It's fine, just leave me alone."

Madam Pomfrey sighed and left her, and Odessa pressed her palms into her eyes. Her glasses were gone, she hoped they hadn't been broken when she'd fallen, and she couldn't see well without them. She didn't really want to see what was happening around her though, because it was nothing that concerned her, and it probably never would. An hour later though, she noticed the doors to the hospital wing open. Odessa glanced over, expecting it to be a student with a cold that wanted a little bit of help. Instead, she saw Leila approaching with a worried expression on her face. "No one told me you were here. I had to find out because a couple of Slytherin arses were laughing about it."

Odessa sat up slightly. "I…I didn't think you'd want to know after this morning," she said softly. "I snapped, and…"

"You were right to," Leila sighed. "Honestly, if someone had been hovering over me like Theresa and I have been hovering over you, I would have gone insane. I've…We've just been so worried. First with the illness, then with the Slytherins…What were we to do? We had to make sure you were safe. But Theresa…She explained to me that when you feel overwhelmed, you lash out. I should have known, considering it's happened before, but…I just want to protect you. I'm going to lose you, I know that, but I don't want to. I'm…Can you forgive me?"

"Can _you_ forgive me?" Odessa asked.

"Of course," Leila said. "Listen, Odessa, you're going through a hard time. I wish that you wouldn't take it out on Theresa and me, but we understand. We're here for you. Snapping doesn't mean that ends. It would never mean the end of our friendship. Don't be so paranoid, okay?"

"Of course," Odessa said, echoing her friend. "I'll try to stop. I just…I've had some trouble, but I think I'll get better. I'd like to not think you and Theresa hate me when I…when I'm…"

"Gone," Leila supplied, "When you're gone."

"Right," Odessa mumbled. "Then."

"Don't worry, we won't hate you. We could never. There is, um, however someone who's more than a little frustrated."

"Oh, don't tell me that it's—"

"It is," Leila said apologetically. "I made him swear to give me five minutes with you, but those are just about up, and he's about to come storming in here."

"For Merlin's sake," Odessa said, sighing softly. "What is he mad about?"

"He's mad that he didn't know you were hurt."

"He's hardly talked to me since the incident with the Slytherins."

"Odessa, he does really like you. He's probably just worried about you getting hurt because of him. Isn't that what Gryffindor's do? They assume they're the root cause of anything that just happens to involve them?" Leila said, smirking slightly. "You keep fighting any kind of relationship with him, Odessa, but it's not going to work. You both want to be friends with each other, even if neither of you wants to admit it."

A few seconds later the door opened, and Sirius Black stalked into the hospital wing, his expression angry as his eyes searched the room. They landed on her and he walked over, quickly, yet giving himself enough time to brood a bit before arriving at her bedside. "Perkins, you can't keep getting hurt. It's just…It's just really starting to become a thing with you, and it's unacceptable."

"You do realize that getting hurt comes with my disease, right?" Odessa asked, rolling her eyes. "I can't exactly stop myself from passing out."

"You could tell someone when you feel like it's going to happen," Sirius muttered. "How long did you feel off today?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes."

"I've felt off since after breakfast. I may have taken too much pain potion, and that made everything worse."

"Bloody hell," Sirius said, shaking his head. Odessa knew he thought she was being ridiculous, but the day hadn't really been good, and she hadn't felt like she could talk to anyone. "Perkins, you have to tell people when you feel sick. You could have come to one of us at any time."

"You've been avoiding me since the astronomy tower," Odessa said pointedly. "How, exactly, was I supposed to go to you?"

"I…I was just trying to create a bit of distance, so they didn't go after you again. It's only been two weeks, have you really missed me that badly?"

Odessa blushed and looked away from him. "You could have told me what you were doing. Here I was thinking…Thinking…"

"What, that I was done with you?" Sirius asked. Upon seeing the expression on her face, his own sobered and he looked down, slightly ashamed. "Perkins, I know we've only just become friends, but do you really think that poorly on me? Do you really think that I would just leave like that?"

"Well how was I supposed to know any better?" Odessa challenged, looking at him defiantly. "I just…All I knew was that you were suddenly gone."

"I came around every now and then."

"Apparently not enough." Leila mumbled, and Odessa was reminded that she was still there.

"Leila, I'm—"

"It's okay, don't apologize," Leila said, smiling at Odessa in a knowing way. "Just don't get into too much trouble with this one, okay? You've got Theresa and I to come back to, you know."

"What on earth are you talking about?"

"Oh, I'm busting you out of here," Sirius said, grinning at her. "We've got somewhere to be. I would have told you earlier today, but you weren't around. Now come on, we haven't got all evening. In fact, we've only got just over an hour, and we still need to change and escape, and then use a rather illegal method to get us to London."

"London?" Odessa asked, allowing Sirius to grab her hand and pull her out of the bed. Her side ached, but Odessa didn't really care. "What are we going to London for?"

"You'll see," Leila said. "Now hurry. Pomfrey will come around to check on you soon, that's how she does things, and I get the feeling you're not supposed to leave quite yet."

"You're okay with this? Me popping off to London on a Wednesday night?" Odessa asked, staring at her fellow Ravenclaw in disbelief.

"Oh definitely," Leila said. "For this, anyway, I'm definitely okay with it. Theresa is too, of course, she just didn't want to overwhelm you with people so she decided to hang back. I'll tell her that you're alright."

Odessa frowned at her friend before Sirius grabbed her hand and whisked her out of the room. Odessa ignored the pain in her side as he rushed her toward the Ravenclaw tower so she could change into something that Sirius would qualify as fancy. When she returned to him, she found that Sirius was dressed smartly in muggle attire. "Where on earth are we going?" Odessa asked, confused by the entire situation.

"You'll see," Sirius said. "Don't worry, you'll like it. It's on your list of happy things, after all."

A little under an hour later, Odessa found herself staring up at the Royal Opera House, her face a mixture of confusion and excitement. "How…How did you…"

"I have my ways," Sirius said. There was a flash and Odessa realized he'd taken another picture of her. "I thought you would like it, anyway. I'm glad you do."

"Like it? Are you kidding me? This is the most amazing thing…"

She could hardly even speak as she stared up at the grand building. Sirius just stood next to her with a wide grin on his face. Soon though he ushered her inside the building, presented tickets to the box office, and then led hear into the theater space. Odessa had only been inside once before, and the theater was just as amazing now as it had been then.


End file.
